When Daddy Isn't Really
by Kitty Smith
Summary: The Potters send Harry out of the country with Sirius for the war and survive the battles,with Neville becoming the bwl and Harry returning to his parents.However,Neville defeats Voldemort when he is 11 years old.slytherin!Harry later semi dark!Hp
1. Chapter 1

**Silly of me to start another story, but right now I will say that this is as much a side project as IC and will be treated as a way to relieve writer's block, mostly. No matter how inconsistant I am with my main story, SMH, this one will be far worse... However, this idea's been nagging at me for quite a while now so I just had to get it out of me and into the computer.**

**Dedicated to whoever reviews it first... ;)**

**Disclaimer: I own not Harry nor Sirius nor Lily nor James- but I want to...**

**There will be no pairing for Harry. Others may or may not happen dependent on how they fit in with the plot.**

* * *

Sirius couldn't believe his ears. "You want me to… to adopt Harry?"

James, Prongs, his _best friend,_ shook his head, "No, we just want you to take him out of the country for this war."

"Are you _insane_? The war could last _years_, maybe a decade! Don't get me wrong, I love the pup, but- He's yours- Yours and Lily's!" Sirius stared in shock at his best friends, "How could I ever-"

Lily took his hand, a pained smile on her face, "We know. B- but with the prophecy looming over us and the Longbottoms, and You-Know-Who on a rampage- we- we just can't let Harry grow up in all of this. Go to the Black Manor or even the Potter Manor- just somewhere no one can-" Her voice broke and Lily's gaze turned to her lap. James rubbed her back reassuringly and she looked up with fire in her eyes and tear tracks on her cheeks, "Somewhere not one bloody Death Eater could get to harm a single hair on or off his head!" James nodded affirmatively and Sirius sighed, running a hand through his hair nervously. Thinking back, he should have seen the signs of this earlier on.

Throughout the war against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named AKA Voldemort AKA The-Slytherin-Who-Discovered-Plastic-Surgery-And-Took-House-Pride-Too-Far (Or maybe it was only Sirius who thought that…), the Potters had endured loss after loss in both branches of the family, until the only close relatives left alive were Petunia nee Evans Dursley and her husband. (Sirius interpreted their current state of being alive as yet another cruel curse being used by the Death Eaters to torture Lily and James) They had grown paranoid about Harry, upping the safety measures repeatedly until Sirius, Remus, and Peter had to interfere before they implanted a one-way portkey permanently into his finger. Sirius looked down on Harry, happily burbling at his godfather and oblivious to the gravity of the situation.

"Of course, Remus has already consented to help you if you agree," Lily was saying slowly, as if forcing the words from her throat.

"So there's at least one role model Lily approves of!" James feebly joked.

They fell into a tense silence full of unspoken questions and equally silent answers that could not help either party in this strange affair. Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly and took one of his godson's hands in between two fingers, smiling briefly as the chubby little hand clamped down on the pale digits. "I'll do it."

Lily broke down into tears and James blinked rapidly, eyes suspiciously shining. Lily spoke haltingly through her weeping, "Tell him about- about us… And please, please, promise me- you'll give him back to us after- after it's safe for you to return."

"Or he's ready to go to Hogwarts," James added quietly, "He'll be safe _there_."

Sirius nodded, unusually somber, "I promise. Besides- I refuse to believe that I'll still have him by the time he's 11," Sirius forced a smile, "And there's no need for you to worry about me 'not giving him back.' I practically live with you guys anyway."

Lily nodded, worry clear in her eyes and a single tear wobbling precariously on her chin as she gathered her baby in her arms for the last time and James encircled them both with his arms.

None of them knew just how wrong Sirius was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dedicated to my first reviewer, who does not have a usename on ff. net. so they shall be known as Galaxy.**

**And yes, this chappie should be much longer.... XD I tend to start out with a very short chappie for the prologue or beginning....**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing... FOR IT IS ALL FREE AS THE WIND BL- *lawyers cock guns* I mean they all belong to J K Rowling of course *chuckles nervously as lawyers lower, but don't put away, their guns***

**Disregarding this sentence, the chappie is 4,026 words, but don't get comfy! My chappies are _rarely_ this _long_!**

Sirius sighed as he looked down at a pair of puppy-dog green eyes from his s- godson.

"Pleeeaaase? I promise I won't lose it!" Ever since Harry had turned five, he had been asking to borrow Sirius's wand to practice spells and only with Remus's back-up had he lasted this long. Remus, however, only visited a few times each month, less now that Harry had turned seven and was less care-intensive. Back when Harry had first moved into the Black family manor in Spain, Sirius had often had minor "almost-emergencies" when he freaked out over a small bruise from Harry kicking the side of his crib or didn't understand why Harry kept crying. Harry had come to see Remus as his favorite uncle. _As it should be,_ Sirius thought firmly. It, however, was not the same relationship Harry had with Sirius. Harry seemed far too attatched to the grim for him to act as a distant uncle and though he loved hearing stories about the Marauder's school days, they were just that to him- stories. It broke Sirius's heart to realize that Harry's parents weren't real to the boy, they were just the stories he'd told him. _This is what Lilly was _afraid_ of, _Sirius told himself, and yet, he couldn't just let Harry adrift without a parental figure to look up to, what good could come of that? Sirius knew some of his own selfish desire was behind that thought as he looked down on his pup.

Sirius bent down and held out his wand, not relinquishing his hold until he'd said, "You can only use this with adult supervision, okay? Moony's in the living room, get him to teach you Lumos, since that's-"

"The easiest spell! I know, Paddy! I've read the first year books twice and I'm starting the second year!" Harry exclaimed, and Sirius let go of the elder wand with a chuckle, sending the boy off with an affectionate hair-ruffling that had Harry grimacing and trying to tame the unruly locks with one hand as he ran out of the room. Sirius smiled warmly, _Just like James-_ He frowned and sat down heavily in the dark blue armchair (Remus refused to allow him to repaint everything red and gold when he became the Head of the Black Family) and immersed himself in his thoughts. The room had dark brown wooden paneling on the walls and the ceiling was painted a light cream color. There were no windows, but the torches on the wall illuminated it well enough to see the dust particles floating through the air. One side of the room had a large built-in book case filled with dimly-colored books of every shape size, occasionally broken up by a curio or two. Sirius's armchair faced this bookcase with its twin chair from the other side of the room. A long and dully red, worn out carpet with gold trimmings ran through the room, in fact every room in the house, and led its twisting way throughout the halls of the manor. The rest of the floor was covered in wall-to-wall dark bluish gray carpeting and on it, between the two armchairs, stood a darkly wooden side table with a round top and plainly carved bottom that arched into three legs near the floor. An oillamp sat on the tabletop and was flickering merrily.

Sirius sighed and glanced at the other armchair, he'd been sitting right there when he realized it- that- He sighed aloud and returned to the memory.

_Sirius flicked to the next page of his charms book. "It's amazing!" He told Moony excitedly, "I never knew there were this _many_ charms that could change body parts neon colors in so many patterns and even words! You can even make different colors smell-"_

_Remus stood and snatched the book from his friend's hands, smiling down at him with amusement in his eyes, "Shouldn't you be taking Harry's friend home now?" __Sirius cast a swift _Tempus_ and swore, then furtively looked around for any innocent children that might have heard with a chagrined look on his face. __Remus laughed and reassured his friend that the little munchkins hadn't overheard, then called said munchkins in._

_The unfortunately named Caligula came in asking, "So where's _your_ daddy?"_

_Sirius froze up, and Remus was bout to interfere when Harry replied with a grin, "I dunno, but it's okay, I've got my other one!" The two boys laughed, as if they'd been recalling a joke they'd made earlier and both men glanced at each other anxiously._

_Remus snapped out of it first, shaking his head, and volunteered, "I'll take Caligula home so you can talk."_

_Sirius nodded dazedly as they left._

That had been an awkward conversation in which Sirius had explained to Harry again that his daddy was James Brian Potter, not Sirius. Harry had nodded along complacently until Sirius had said he was not Harry's father. Scowling, Harry had replied that a daddy was the man who loved you and took care of you, and he wanted Sirius to be his daddy. Sirius had shook his head sadly and gathered Harry in his arms just as the dam broke and Harry began to cry, asking over and over why Sirius couldn't be his daddy. Sirius had wished he could take all of Harry's hurt into himself, but no matter how much you love someone, it can never happen. That night, before Harry went to bed, he had thoughtfully asked if "Papa" was another way of saying "Daddy." Sirius had warily agreed, and when Harry asked if he could use Sirius's Marauder name, Sirius responded exactly the same way. It was only the next day, when Harry had begun calling him "Paddy" that he discovered how easily he'd been duped. Harry would have his "Papa/Daddy" no matter what anyone else had to say about it.

A small explosion sounded from the next room and Sirius ran in to find a laughing Harry pointing and clutching his stomach as Remus grumbled under his breath. Sirius grinned and snapped a picture before running to make copies. After all, it wasn't everyday you could see Remus dressed up as little Bo Peep with a plush lamb tucked under his arm. _He'll be a Marauder yet,_ Sirius thought proudly with tears streaming dramatically down his cheeks as he sprinted down the halls and avoided the sudden hexes Remus sent flying at him.

(tATu tATu tATu tATu)

"Faster, Paddy, faster!" Harry cried with delight as the large black grim ran in front of him, tethered to a sled and bounding across the snow. Harry was eight, and had beat Sirius for the first time in a game of chess, so Sirius had to deal with the cnosequences of his bet with Remus (that Harry wouldn't beat him before he was ten, and the details of which Harry had "overheard"). Harry was getting infrequent letters from his parents now, at Sirius's request once he explained that Harry was no longer even acknowledging his "other" parents. It wasn't turning out exactly as they wished, but at least Harry now thought of his parents as real people and part of his family, albeit as distant family. Also, instead of "Mommy" and "Daddy" he, oddly, had started calling them "Milly" and "Jamrongs." Sirius had grinned at the rather unfortunate nickname James had gotten, and had to explain in a separate letter that Harry's nicknames meant he was warming up to them and the two accepted the names gracefully. The letters were as much as they would risk though, and only when sent with Dumbledore's pheonix. Also, since they no longer had to worry about keeping Harry near anyone his own age, the Potters had moved into Hogwarts and taken up the Transfiguration and Charms posts so Flitwick and McGonagall could participate more actively in the Order of the Pheonix, with Lilly going by Professor Evans, to avoid confusion. Dumbledore was willing to offer Sirius the DADA post when they returned and Sirius had planned to take him up on that offer so he could terrorize Hogwarts with Prongs again.

Sirius was yanked out of his thoughts as Harry tumbled off the sled and slid partway down the hill they had been dashing over. He changed back into his human form even as he leapt towards his pup, "Harry!" He knelt down next to the sniffling brunette and gathered him in his arms, "Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere? Did you get snow down your shirt? I'm so sorry, pup, are you okay?" Harry wrapped his arms as far around Sirius as they would go and nodded that he was okay before burying his head into Sirius's thick coat. Sirius rubbed his back soothingly, "Just scared?" The boy nodded into Sirius's front and Sirius hoisted him up with a grunt, saying almost to himself, "Soon you'll be too big for me to do this anymore..."

Remus made it over from where he'd been watching on the Black family's front porch and slightly out of breath from running, asked, "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he was just a little startled. Big man doesn't get scared, he's going to be a great ol' Gryffindor at Hogwarts!" Sirius exclaimed and Harry giggled a little in his arms before slipping back into sniffles.

Remus shook his head, "Don't do that, Sirius." In a softer tone, he told Harry, "It's okay to get scared and if you're not in Gryffindor at Hogwarts, it won't be the end of the world, so let's go inside and have some nice hot cocoa to warm us all up. huh?" Sirius pouted at the werewolf, but allowed himself to be led inside as Harry finally smiled at the look on Sirius's face.

"I should go to Slytherin just to see you make the face you made when Uncle Moony said not being in Gryffindor wouldn't be the end of the world," Harry teased as Sirius set him down and sat beside him on the long dark gray couch in the sitting room off the "Human Kitchens" as Sirius called them as opposed to the "House Elf Kitchens." Remus went through the archway into the kitchen and set about making hot cocoa on the marble counter with swirls of black and white that separated kitchen and living room.

"Not Slytherin!" Sirius cried dramatically and Harry laughed again. Sirius grinned down at the little boy who could be strikingly serious and mature one second, a mini-Remus, and then be so outgoing and crazy, like Sirius himself. Sirius mentally shook his head, _Serious like Lilly and crazy like James, not _us_._ "James's family was all Gryffindors, all the way back with a Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw thrown in here and there. Lilly was a Gryffindor too, but I think she was a Ravenclaw in disguise." Harry chuckled and Sirius laughed withy him.

Harry looked up at Sirius with sparkling eyes, "What about Remus?"

_That seems... Safe enough..._ Harry had a habit of getting information out of people he shouldn't directly or indirectly. "Remus's family were muggles. However you already know Remus was a Gryffindor like your mother, book-obsessed and hated breaking the rules, but he went along with me and James when we were pulling pranks. Pete was generally the lookout." Sirius gazed off a moment, and Harry knew it was time to strike. Wormtail had died in a Death Eater attack on Hogsmeade. From the way he'd fallen and the scroch mark on his back, he'd been running away, but that didn't stop the Marauders from mounring his loss. For some odd reason, after his death, a Death Eater had cut off both his arms and burnt them- no one knew why. Sirius always became slightly dazed when he spoke about Pettigrew, as if he couldn't believe he'd died.

"How did your family feel about that?" Harry asked softly.

"About what?" Sirius said absent-mindedly.

"About all your friends being in Gryffindor."

"Well they hated it, of course, bloody S-" Sirius snapped out of his haze and glared down at an unrepentently grinning Potter.

"So all your family was Slytherins?" Harry queried innocently.

"You tricked me!" He accused childishly as Remus walked in with three steaming mugs of hot chocolate on a tray. Sirius snatched the customized "World's Greatest Paddy" cup that Harry had gotten Sirius with Remus's help for Sirius's birthday last month and sipped at it sulkily. Harry picked up a blue mug with a "Thank you" sent Remus's way before hastily setting it down and blowing on his fingers.

Remus glanced at him in confusion before dipping a finger in his own cocoa and then quickly shaking off the liquid, "How can you drink that, Padfoot? It's scorching!"

"James always used to like his food _very_ hot and I got used to it. I did nearly live with the Potters the entire time I went to Hogwarts and a little while after," He reminded Remus, setting down his hot cocoa on a coaster and replacing Harry's from the bare wood to another. "Don't put your cup on the table again, it leaves rings."

Remus hid a smile behind his hand as Harry promised he wouldn't do it again and Sirius ruffled the boy's hair.

"I just had it half done!" Harry moaned.

Sirius shrugged, "Wait three years, then at Hogwarts, ask some girl for tips and I'm sure she'll completely tame it in an instant."

Harry's eyes widened, "Really? Girls can do that?" Growing up in a small village in Spain with two bachelors and where only two out of the ten families there spoke English while Harry spoke only fragmented Spanish did not really help Harry socially- though he could, and did, lie his way out of nearly any situation no matter what the language. Sirius insisted it was his Marauder roots coming through, but Remus silently disagreed. His knowledge of the fairer sex however, was stunted and vague.

"Not all girls, Harry. Girls are really just like boys with a couple different body parts," Remus explained with a quick glare at his best friend. Harry nodded gravely; he already knew the difference between boys and girls, and _why_ they had different body parts. He also knew that girls had one "ingredient" for a baby, and boys had the other, but both men were hoping to keep it at that and not have to explain _how_ the different "ingredients" for a baby came together just yet.

"So Paddy's just exaggeradin again?"

"Exaggerating, and yes." Remus answered, then drew an arm around Harry, "Let's get you away from the scary old man over there." Harry and Remus huddled together at the other side of the couch and calmly sipped their cooler cocoa as Sirius ranted that he wasn't old _or_ scary and exaggeratedly begged Harry not to abandon him for Remus. Harry giggled, he couldn't _wait_ to tell Caligula about this.

(tATu tATu tATU tATu)

"Paddy!" Harry cried excitedly, running through the hallways. Harry may have been ten and a half, but he still loved to share his discoveries with his "Paddy."

"What is it, Pup?" Sirius called from the library just as Harry ran past the open door. Harry back pedaled and nearly threw himself into the room.

"I found a talking snake!" Harry thrust the dim green serpent in Sirius's face and it hissed what Sirius assumed was a serpentine hello before he leaned back so far the chair fell over. "Paddy! Are you okay?!" Sirius propped himself up on his elbows and watched in shock as hissing noises were exchanged back and forth between the two.

"You're a... Parselmouth..." Sirius trailed off and slumped back down on the ground as Harry shouted, "Paddy!"

Sirius opened his eyes to his popcorn white bedroom ceiling and prayed it was all a dream. "Paddy, you're awake!" Harry hissed something to the snake in his hand and the snake turned towards Sirius and let out a breathy hiss.

Harry giggled, "Sorry, Paddy, she's the kind of girl you said is a 'flirt.'"

Sirius nearly did another "manly pass out" when he realized Harry was referring to the snake, "I'm sorry, Harry, but I can't understand a word she says."

Harry cocked his head to the right and the snake hissed something to him. "A Parselmouth?" He asked, as if repeating something.

Sirius sighed, "You can talk to snakes Harry. The snake isn't speaking English, _you're_ speaking Parseltongue. And how did I get here?" Sirius frowned at the window of his second-story room.

"The House Elves helped me. What do you mean Parseltongue?" Harry directed his attention back to the subject after dismissing his concerns.

"Parseltongue is snake-language, and it can't be learned, you're born with it," Sirius elaborated.

"So Jamrong is a Parseltongue?" Harry asked, "Or is it Milly?"

"Neither," Sirius replied with a finger on his chin, "In fact... I don't think any Potter has been born with it... Unless they hid it... They were Gryffindors, after all..."

"What?" Harry furrowed his brow and leaned his upper half on Sirius's bed.

"Salazar Slytherin was famous for his Parseltongue, and it's an inherited language, but as far as I know, the Potters are a distant branch off the Gryffindor family..." Sirius trailed off in thought.

"You mean I could be descended from _two_ Founders?" Harry inquired, suddenly standing and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Sirius's eyes sparkled and he grinned, "I guess you could just look at it that way. Maybe the the Evanses are secret squibs." Sirius quirked a brow at his own comment and Harry took the familiar silent cue to call out simultaneously, "Nah!" Sirius chuckled, then continued, "Really, though, some distant descendent of Slytherin must have married into the Potter family at some point. It _was_ over a few thousand years ago."

"You're being completely serious, of course." Harry baited with a grin.

Sirius puffed out his chest, "I'm _always_ Sirius, cretin!" He grabbed Harry and dragged him onto the bed, tickling him unmercilessly until tears began to form in the boy's eyes.

(tATu tATu tATu tATu)

_Neville Longbottom: Boy-Who Lived_

_You-Know-Who defeated!_

_No one knows what truly happened, but it's been confirmed by several forensic Aurors and Albus Dumbledore himself, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is gone for good! After appearing on the scene of the crime, the Longbottom Manor, at 8:32 AM, Auror Spensick Warrem suspected the worst when he encountered the dead bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Frank Longbottom, but in the nursery, Neville was alive with the body of the former Dark Lord and a fully healed scar that diagonally divided his face..._

Sirius put down the newspaper with a whoop. He felt horrible for young Longbottom, of course, but he hadn't known Frank or Alice that well, and now- now Harry was no longer in danger! Harry was looking at him strangely from across the table because of his outburst but Sirius wordlessly pushed the paper across the table and waited impatiently as Harry read it. Harry looked up with a weak smile and Sirius swooped down on him and spun around while holding hands with the black-haired eleven year old. When Harry didn't seem as wildly happy, Sirius sat down and pulled him into his lap. "What's up, Har-meister?"

Harry fiddled with the end of his robe. "Well... This means I have to go back, doesn't it?"

Sirius stiffened, he hadn't gotten past Harry's new-found safety yet, but now that Harry brought it up... "Harry, we'd be going back so you could go to Hogwarts, anyway, you know that, right?"

"But when the war was still going, for summer holidays, I might've been able to come out here 'cause it's safer. I don't want to leave you and Caligula and Remus." Caligula was Harry's closest friend, even if Harry couldn't call him his best friend since Caligula couldn't know about magic. Horribly misnamed, Caligula was a steady and calm individual with a good sense of humour. He reminded Sirius of a mixture of Remus and Lilly.

"Harry, I'm not your father-" Sirius started.

"So? You didn't stay with _your_ real parents when you were my age! You stayed with the Potters!" Harry accused, wiping his eyes on his sleeve futilely.

"Well, that's- Harry, my parents were bad people-"

"They took care of you, didn't they?" Harry interrupted.

"Yes, but-"

"But they didn't love you and you didn't love them! I don't love Milly and Jamrongs! I don't know them at all! I love _you_, Paddy! I haven't seen my '_parents'_ since I was one, and _you've_ been with me for my whole life! I don't want to go! Let's stay here in Spain!" Harry pleaded, his eyes bright with more of the salt water still running down his cheeks and some mucus shining at the opening of his nostril. Sirius passed him a tissue silently.

_I don't know if I'm upset with Harry for not understanding, guilty that I let James and Lilly talk me into this, or furious with myself because I'm even considering the other two options. _Sirius took a deep breath to calm himself, but his voice still came out hoarse, "I love you, too, Harry, but we can't stay here. I can stay with you for a while, but Prongs and Lilly are your real parents, and I don't have any right to keep you from them."

Harry mulled this over, and looked up, attempting to get as much out of this as Sirius could give, "You'll stay with me? You won't leave when I have to live with Milly?" _And Jamrongs? _Sirius puzzledly added in his mind.

Sirius gazed into bright emerald eyes and gave in, hoping he wouldn't have to break this as well, "The Potters, Remus, and I are- were- the equivalent of room-mates, so- I promise."

Harry lunged forward and bridged the small space between them, throwing his arms around the much bigger man, whispering that he loved him. And if the "Paddy" sounded more like "Daddy," neither of them brought it up.

**Review-ies pul-ease? *flutters eyelashes***


	3. Chapter 3

**Dedicated to anonymous review Galaxy.**

**Disclaimer: The power of disclamation compels thee!**

**This is more of a normal chappie, except... about 739 words more... I normally do about 1,000 word chappies.**

Harry clutched Sirius and Remus's hands as they walked up the street-name-worthy driveway to a manor just as large and imposing as Black Manor. _Potter Manor..._ Harry thought, warily looking it over. The building itself looked ancient, made mostly of light gray and dirty beige stones with rounded gray bricks on every corner and large, arched windows by the dozen on every floor. It looked very bright, but worn out, and the building itself exuded menace- well, to Harry it exuded menace, but to most people it seemed downright cheerful. Harry might like to hear from Milly and Jamrongs once in a while, but this would be his first time meeting them, and he wasn't sure if he'd like them or not. _What if they're really mean in reality and they were only nice in the letters to fool Paddy?_ Realistically, Harry knew this was irrational since Sirius had known them before Harry had even been thought of as a possibility and Jamrongs was still chasing Milly through the halls of Hogwarts, but Harry couldn't help feeling suspicious of these people who suddenly wanted him back now that it wasn't dangerous to have him. So it was for _his _safety, they say? If Voldemort hadn't been targetting him like Sirius said he was, then Harry doubted they'd have sent him away. _But- maybe they still would have. Maybe it was really for _my_ safety. _Harry hesitated before he stepped onto the three marble steps that led up to the front door of the Manor. It would have been unnoticeable if he hadn't been holding the two men's hands like a drowning man clutching his lifeline and Remus and Sirius exchanged a look. _Maybe it'd be nice to have a Mummy, but if Milly became Mummy, would Jamrongs have to be Daddy?_ Harry waited after Sirius knocked on the door and a red haired blur threw itself at him. As he dimly connected the red hair with the descriptions of Milly, he felt his shoulder becoming wet and let go of Remus's hand to pat the woman awkwardly on the back. She righted herself and gave him a watery smile.

A bright red leaf from a nearby tree, nearly the color of her hair, fell, brushing past her shoulder before she gathered enough control of herself to talk.

"Oh, here you are just back and I'm sobbing all over you, not letting you even get a chance to walk in the door. You just look _so_ like James..." She placed a gentle finger under his chin and gazed at him in wonder before her expression turned slightly sad, yet still happy, leaving Harry confused. "I know you don't know us well, but I hope you know we love you and give us a chance, at least. You may need some time to get used to us, but with all the practice you've had with Sirius, I think you just might be able to stand James." Harry chanced a weak smile as Sirius protested that he was _much _worse than James, and Milly beamed at him. She extended her hand and Harry slipped his inside hers, not letting go of Sirius. He glanced at Remus anxiously, as if afraid Remus would feel slighted, but he just waved at them dismissively with a smile and became engrossed in conversation with a grizzly and elderly looking House Elf. Milly and Sirius walked with Harry between them down the halls as they looked for James. "I was in the library, and James wouldn't be caught dead in there," Milly explained. Harry commented that Remus liked books a lot, too, and Milly gave him another happy-sad smile. As they walked through the bright, bright halls, which, though as worn out and old, were nothing like the dulled and muted colors of the Black Manor, Harry marveled at how similar Paddy and Milly's hands were. They both had long, spidery fingers that were always cool, and never sweaty-hot. They even both had the same pale skin that Harry had. Harry looked at his hands in theirs and was slightly disappointed to see that his weren't as long and thin. Despite his own spidery fingers, he had a blockier palm than they and knew it must have come from Jamrongs. Every so often Milly would glance down at him and smile, as if in awe over his very existence, and Harry would catch a glimpse of the same bright leaf green eyes he saw in the mirror every morning as he brushed his teeth. But Sirius was the one who had the black hair, same as Harry. The minutes they spent searching for James seemed to expand to hours and Harry would day dream that Jamrongs didn't really exist, and Sirius was his father, while Milly was his mother. It made sense! He'd lived with his Paddy during the war, and now it was safe to come home to Milly. _But-_ Harry glanced at his hands and saw the difference in thickness of their palms, remembered the stronger chin he had, and the slightly crooked nose. _No, Paddy _isn't_ my _father_, he _said_ so. _And Paddy wouldn't lie. ... Right?

"There he is! James Brian Potter, don't you want to say hello to your son?" Milly admonished mockingly as the messy-haired man who was bent over some parchment at his desk jumped up and turned towards her voice, eyes wide in shock.

"Harry's he- Sirius!" He looked from Milly to Sirius, then directly down from the space between them, "Harry!" He grabbed the small boy and twirled him in the air. He was burly, and a good head taller than Sirius, with obvious, but not bulky muscles.

Irrational fear overtook him as this strange man whirled him through the air, "Put me _down_!" Jamrongs balked at the scared tone and put Harry down, backing off as if scalded. Breathing hard and tears gathering at the edges of his eyes, Harry stood next to Milly and slightly behind Sirius with one hand gripping the back of Sirius's robes. Jamrongs looked stricken.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked quickly, kneeling down to Harry's level and gently disengaging Harry's grip on his robes. Harry nodded and leaned forward slightly, as if hesitant to throw himself at the older male with his parents in the room.

Sirius opened his arms and Harry leaped into the embrace, "Paddy..." Milly had crossed the room to lay a hand on Jamrongs's shoulder at this point, and she felt him tense at the nickname.

"He just said Paddy, not Daddy. It's probably short for Padfoot," She whispered in his ear.

"Just scared?" Sirius asked. The words seemed to echo in Harry's mind and he remembered the time he was eight and fell into the snow off of his sled.

Harry nodded and drew back from the hug, wiping his nose on his sleeve and attempting to look like he hadn't cried at all. Despite the nice way Milly acted, Harry felt incredibly embarrassed for crying in front of them and he felt his cheeks turn red. "I'm sorry I got upset, Mr. Jamrongs."

Lilly's grip on James' shoulder tightened and James put an arm around her waist, "I'm sorry I scared you Harry, I didn't- I didn't mean to." Attempting to grin, Jamrongs continued, "And don't call me mister, it makes me feel old." Sirius managed a weak laugh to support his friend, but the hand he had resting on Harry's shoulder after he stood belied the action.

Milly kneeled down and held her arms out in open invitation, "Give us a chance to make it up to you?"

Harry hesitated, glancing at Sirius (who gave a slight nod), before walking slowly towards Milly and lett her wrap her arms around him again. He gingerly returned the hug and Jamrongs patted his head lightly. When they separated, Harry gave them both a small wave, "Hi Milly, Jamrongs."

James stifled a laugh and when Lilly let one red eyebrow rise above the other, he got out only, "Milly!"

'Milly' bristled, and snapped, "At least I'm not named after the crimes of jelly! Jam-Wrongs!" She turned to Harry and was all sugar again, "Don't pay any attention to him, I think Milly is a fine name. What do you call Remus and Sirius?"

"Paddy and Remus," He replied.

Her brow furrowed and she opened her mouth to speak, but Sirius cut in, "Remony sounded like a girl's name and he started calling me Paddy right before he started combining names to create new ones."

"That's where they came from?" She turned back to Harry and smiled, "You're very clever. What did you combine for the names?" Sirius smiled as Harry lit up, he loved talking about the new words he created.

"I made Jamrongs's name from 'James' and 'Prongs' and I know it sounds funny to a lot of people,**(1)** but I like it... And- And Remony is Remus and Moony, but 'cause Momus is just weird and Remony doesn't sound right, I just call him Remus." Harry smiled.

"What about Milly? And is Paddy a combination?" Milly asked, now genuinely curious.

For some reason, Harry looked down and scuffed at the floor with his shoe. "Well... Milly is 'Lilly' and 'Mum...' But since I haven't lived with you in a real long time, I thought maybe you wouldn't like that, so I put them together and-" Milly gathered him in her arms again, beaming.

"Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea how much I don't mind! And if you still don't feel comfortable just calling me Mum, then feel free to continue using Milly!" Only Sirius caught the sad smirk that flashed across Harry's face. _Brilliantly diverted, and..._ Sirius sighed to himself, _So very Slytherin... I'm sure she's forgotten she asked about my nickname..._

Sirius looked up and as his gaze connected with James's, he knew at least one other person in the room hadn't forgotten.

**Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Dedicated to Galaxy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own little Harry, or he might've ended up like this!**

"So you guys must have really been suffering without me to contribute to paying taxes, huh?" Sirius joked, in high spirits now that the last Marauders, Lilly, and Harry were all together and the tension had eased. They were sitting in the cheerfully golden living room with red accents and Sirius was on the couch with his arm around Harry as the brunette leaned heavily into his side, pretending to sleep. _Forgot to breathe deeply, though..._ Sirius chuckled inwardly.

"Yeah, we probably only have enough to feed us, you guys, Jamie, and the rest of the village for a few centuries!" James replied laughingly.

"Who's Jamie?" Remus and Sirius asked nearly at the same time, so it sounded as if one or the other had an echo. Sirius frowned, _If they'd had another child, surely they'd have said in the letters..._

"He's a child, about thirteen, who's lost his parents-" James began.

"But he _has_ relatives who he should be with right now and keeps on 'visiting' James. He hasn't been with his family more than a week at a time since his parents died." Lilly interrupted curtly. Harry blinked his eyes open as he 'woke.'

James took her hand in between both of his, "Come on, Lilly flower, you know he likes it here, and you know you've enjoyed having him!"

"I still don't like keeping a _child_ here and away from his family! He should be living with his Aunt Molly, James! And _you_ know _that_!"

James pouted, "I don't want to make him feel like now that our son is home, we're replacing him."

"_Jamie_ is _not_ our son, or any relation of ours, James, so our _son_ could not ever replace a _guest_! He is a _guest_, James! One that should be going _home_!" Lilly stood and left the room, and- lacking any doors to slam- stomped viciously on a crack near the door before turning the corner out of sight.

James winced as she stamped her foot down and sighed when she disappeared. "That floor was unblemished," He explained, "And then she adopted it as her stomping place and now look." In truth, the patch of floor had a spiderweb of cracks and seemed to have taken quite a beating.

"Prongs, Prongs!" A young, high-pitched voice with a lilt to it preceded the pounding of feet by a bit and the boy, about a foot shorter than Sirius and maybe half a foot taller than Harry, with short red hair and crooked nose not unlike James and Harry's own, by a lot. "Oh. Sorry, who're these?"

"Jamie, my boy!" He scooped up the boy and twirled him, leaving Jamie breathless and smiling fondly at the older man as he set him down. "These are my dearest friends, Sirius and Remus and-"

"The rest of the Marauders?" The boy cut in, flushed with excitement. Normally Sirius would be puffing himself up and ready to tell a multitude of embarrassing stories about hiw comrades, but he had something else on his mind. Sirius cleared his throat meaningfully and caught James's eye, glancing down at Harry and back up again to see if he understood.

James nodded, "I was getting to that." He held out a hand to Harry, and the boy hesitantly took it and came to stand near James. James put one hand on his shoulder, unconsciously mirroring Sirius's earlier pose, "This is my son, Harry."

"The one you had to send out of the country to keep him safe?" Jamie affirmed.

Jamrongs laughed, "I don't have another!"

Jamie laughed as well, but shot a glare at Harry when Jamrongs wasn't looking. Harry smiled weakly and glanced over his shoulder at Sirius before Jamrongs gently but firmly turned him back to face Jamie and himself. "Hello, Mr...?" Harry trailed off, his hand held out in front of him.

A flash of dislike glimmered across the boy's face and he took Harry's hand almost painfully, "Just call me Jamie."

Harry nodded amicably, _This guy is a jerk. I hope he isn't all that smart..._ "Only if you call me Harry."

Jamie eyed him warily before nodding. Jamrongs looked on in reverie as his two "favorite" boys met and "became best friends forever." Sirius, without those fancy little rose-colored glasses, looked on with suspicion, knowing that anyone who messed with Harry was bound to be on the receiving end of a prank or two. He _had_ been raised by two- He _was_ the son of a Marauder, after all.

"So, do you... like Quidditch?" Jamie asked, "Or do you not know what it is?" Sirius winced, _He brought up the Q-word..._

"I _know_ what that stupid _game _is, and I think it's a silly game that make people worry about their idiotic relatives who go off and get themselves a _concussion_ because they had the brilliant idea to play with four Bludgers!" Harry turned to glare meaningfully at Sirius, missing the horror on James' face and the irritation on Jamie's.

Sirius held his hands up in front of him, as if to ward off impending doom. Harry was just a kid, yes, and had that certain innocence most children did, but when people he cared for were injured- even by themselves- it put him on the warpath. "Hey- I promised I wouldn't even _mention_ the Q-word, ever! You know that!" James' horrified look took on new levels as the blood drained from his face.

"N-no _Quidditch?_ How could anyson of mine inflict such terrifying pain in this way?!" Jamrongs cried, throwing his arms around Sirius, "Oh tell me it's just a prank, from his Marauder blood!" Harry was torn between amusement and annoyance.

Sirius attempted a weak smile, "Sorry, Prongs, he's a lot like R- Lilly that way."

Jamrongs wiped his eyes of dramatic tears and smiled, obviously missing Sirius's near-slip. "Of course, just like his dear, but fiery, mother..." He patted Harry on the head lightly, as if afraid to hurt him, "You look a lot like me, but you-"

"-Have my mother's eyes, I know. Sirius always-" Harry's eyes widened slightly, "Sorry, I'm not supposed to interrupt people!"

"Ah, and there are Lilly's manners. But, you seem to have some of her facial structure too... Hmmm...." Jamrongs examined the brunette.

As a few moments passed, Harry fought the urge to fidget, or tell Jamrongs firmly that he was _not_ a portrait to be observed!

"No, no, it seems it's almost a 50-50 mix! My coloring, of course, but your build is all Lilly-"

"James, shouldn't we all show Harry around the Manor- so he doesn't get lost later?" Remus interjected, trying to advert the small frown on Harry's face from coming out in sarcasm when he became more at ease in his surroundings.

"Of course! Come on, Jamie, we'll show them all the renovations and fixin' we've been doing!" James proclaimed.

Jamie immediately brightened, looking at James with worshiplike adoration, "Let's go!"

Remus raised his eyebrows at the display, and Harry slowly began to retreat back into his shell as he followed the adults out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Dedicated to Galaxy. BEYOND THE STARS AND WITHIN THE UNIVERSE, A GALAXY WAS FORMED. o_0 ;)**

**Diss the Claim- This claim is so fake that when it was caught out in the rain it dissolved! I do not own Harrykins. Or Harrietta. XD**

**Alright, since I haven't updated in... Just about exactly around a couple weeks??? I'm updating now, even though I can't think of how to continue the chappie.... So, here 'tis!**

Harry pouted with his arms crossed sulkily over his chest as Sirius walked around the room getting ready to sleep. He eyed the black-haired eleven-year-old sitting on his bed and remarked, "I think I liked it better when you were being too shy to string two words together."

Harry's frown deepened, "I hate it here. I want to go back to Black Manor. Don't you miss Experalda-"

"Esperanza-" Sirius corrected.

"-Experalda at all?" Harry continued, pointedly ignoring Sirius's attempt to correct the name Harry used for his girlfriend.

Sirius sighed, and the bed tilted under his weight as he sat next to Harry. "We broke up, Harry. We both knew a long distance relationship wouldn't work with the two of us. We both focus on- we both think hugs are very important in a healthy relationship." Sirius amended hastily.

Harry eyed him, "Caligula told me about the 'birds and the bees' talk he had with his dad. Since I knew you'd try to avoid it for as long as you can."

Sirius blushed, "So he told you about how the ingredients for a baby are put together?"

Harry nodded with a pensive look. "Yes. And it sounds very painful for the girl. I mean, how exactly are they supposed to get all of-"

Sirius put a hand over his mouth, "I _cannot_ have this conversation with you. Maybe when you're older. Now, off to bed." Releasing the boy, he pushed him lightly and Harry stood up with a scowl. "Do you want me to walk-"

"I've got a good head for directions, 'member? You end up going to the Q-Pitch no matter where you start from." Harry replied offhandedly as he walked out the door.

The door shut with a soft 'snick' and Sirius mumbled petulantly to himself, "I lived here for _years_ before he was born... And I'm not allowed on the Q-Pitch any more!"

(o0o0o0o0o0o)

Harry traversed the golden house and knew that, although the red accents invariably made the Manor seem as if it belonged in Gryffindor Tower, the color scheme had been mostly Milly's idea. If she hadn't stepped in, Harry was sure Jamrongs would have gone the way Sirius wanted and painted everything bright blood red. Turning the second to last corner, he found himself face-to-stick at wandpoint.

"Hello, _Harry_," Jamie snarled, "Let's go for a walk." Strands of red hair fell into his face and he shook them back in irritation.

Not about to argue with a pissed off third year Harry raised his hands placatingly, "Lead the way."

"Not even going to fight back?" _I don't have a _wand_, Mr. Gryffindor Poster Boy. You're worse than Paddy._

"Nope," Harry gave a feeble smile and Jamie snarled one last time before lowering his wand slightly.

"C'mon, let's go." _Is he jealous of Jamrongs or something? _Harry recalled the rather impressive glare Jamie had sent his way when Jamrongs called Harry his only son. _Yeah... Maybe I should clear things up._

"Look, if you think I'm going to try and replace you or something in Jamrongs's heart, you've got it all wrong-"

"Really? Because who do _you_ think he'd choose? His son? Or a _guest_?" Jamie spat.

"I pretty much _am _a guest! He doesn't know me and I don't know him!" Harry rolled his eyes in exasperation, "Honestly, you can _have _him. I just want to go back to Black Manor."

Jamie paused, his face blank as he digested this information, "But don't you want a father?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair in a manner reminiscent of Sirius, "It's complicated."

"You can tell _me_," Jamie urged curiously.

Harry looked up, hand still in his hair and gave the boy a weakly cold glare, "I don't know _you_ either, you know."

"Yeah... I think we've started off... On the wrong foot. Can we start over?" Jamie grinned half-heartedly.

Harry watched him suspiciously, "You _are_ a Gryffindor."

Jamie blinked rapidly, "Yes- What?"

Harry gave the boy a _look_,"Only Gryffindors change opinions that quickly, and I've lived with one of three 'true Gryffindors' my whole life. I would know."

"You don't think you'll be a- Not important. C'mon, forgive me? I thought- I thought you'd get James to kick me out once you came back so I-"

"Automatically labeled me as an enemy instead of someone to keep happy. Smooth, real smooth." Harry smirked, but let the expression soften to a smile before Jamie could see it. "Fine. At least you didn't actually _do_ anything to me yet."

Jamie grinned and held out a hand, "Let's start over, I'm Jamie Weasley."

"Harry Potter," Harry took the boy's hand and this time, though firm, neither boy attempted to crush the other's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Young Mr. Potter," Jamie bowed from the waist, "Shall I accompany you to your room?"

Still wary, but unwilling to let the boy know it, Harry smiled and nodded. _It'll be good to have _someone_ to talk to around my age... If he's not just pretending to have a change of heart... _"Sure." Jamie held out his arm and forcefully placed Harry's hand in the crook of it. "You do know I'm not a girl, right? Harry isn't short for Harrietta." Harry involuntarily shuddered, "What a horrible name."

Jamie laughed, much more at ease with the younger boy now that he understood more. "It's alright, Harrietta, don't be ashamed of your true gender. Just because you have short hair doesn't mean I can't see your overwhelming femininity-" Harry slipped his hand from the crook of Jamie's arm and cuffed the older boy upside the head before walking off with a roll of his eyes. _That guy's an idiot._ "Harrietta! No! Don't leave me!" A smirk slipped onto Harry's lips. _But a funny idiot._

(o0o0o0o0o0o)

**Reviews feed the plot bunny! A lot! C'mon, don't starve the poor thing! holds up scrawny purple puff ball the size of my hand It needs food to grow!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Er, I think I'm confusing myself with the whole "James" vs. "Jamrongs" thing as well, so I should explain that when Sirius is controlling the scene, it's James and if it's Harry's POV, it's Jamrongs. So... YAY.**

**Dedicated to Galaxy, the anonymous reviewer of rainbows and butterflies... Or death and destruction... Whichever they prefer... Maybe Rainbow death butterflies of destruction? And doom?**

**Disclaiming: It's not mine. Severus and Sirius are the only parents I will accept for Harry, Harry likes platinum blondes, not redheads, and Harry is always a little Slytherin! ALWAYS. (Although I emphasize this story will have no pairing)**

"And _told _I _you_ Slytherin is a _green color_!" James exclaimed, botching up his sentence something awful in his haste. His nose and cheeks were flushed and he was panting slightly as he pointed a finger at the dark haired boy in front of him, "AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"What's so bad about Slytherin?" Harry muttered, turning away and folding his arms so as not to get the full brunt of the noise. James appeared to be swelling up and by this point the entirety of his visible skin had joined his cheeks and nose in declaring relations to a stoplight. Sirius tuned out James' rant and turned to Madam Malkin,

"I think they'll be awhile, why don't you go on to the next customer?" He directed firmly, ushering the frizzy-haired witch from the room with her mouth undaintily dropped open.

"How much, volume, doya think, Harrietta can get James up to?" Jamie asked, playing with a gold coin, "I wager say, a galleon, people outside the window will turn at his next explosion." He grinned, looking distinctly fox-like as his eyes narrowed with the grin.

Sirius didn't look away from the fight as he shook Jamie's hand, "I'll take that bet. James has a temper, but no lung capacity." It was the day before September first and James had managed to put off both Lilly and Remus's proddings until the very last minute. They were currently buying the children's school supplies, and though it didn't normally take much time, the arguing between James and Harry wasn't helping to get anything done.

The two of them winced as James kicked a chair viciously across the room. Harry's lip began to tremble and he looked away stubbornly. James sighed and ran a hand through his hair stiffly, turning, he shot a muttered "Reparo" at the battered chair before levitating it back into position. "I just wanted robes the same color as Milly's eyes..." Harry trailed off, looking forlornly at the floor.

Within moments, James was grimacing as he paid for the first Slytherin colored robes he'd ever bought in his life.

"Pay up," Sirius motioned at Jamie impatiently without looking away from James and Harry.

Jamie grumbled but dug around in his pocket a moment before slapping a coin down in Sirius's outstretched hand, "I can't believe James bought Harrietta _green_ robes."

"To be fair, it was only two, all the rest are black. I'm actually sort of glad James didn't get his way. Can you imagine the lil pup in scarlet?" Sirius shuddered, "A fashion crime."

Jamie laughed, "Aren't _you _a girly-" Jamie stopped. The look on Sirius's face was actually rather frightening and Jamie found his Gryffindor roots hiding in a dark corner of his mind- and joined them. With a quiet "eep" he ran over to James, diverting the man's attention as they left the shop, and Harry slipped back over to Sirius.

The sneer on his face meant trouble, Sirius was sure, so he let his own anger fade away, "What's wrong?"

"Jamrongs is an idiot." He replied curtly. "...And he's going to hate me when I get into my House at Hogwarts," Harry added in a softer tone.

"I can't argue with his idiocy, In fact, I prefer to stand firm in my belief that it's surpassed my own." Sirius smiled down at Harry, and the boy turned vulnerably expectant eyes up to his face. "But I don't think he'll hate you, no matter which House you get in. Besides, you can't know until you get there. You might even get into Gryffindor- you _are_ his distant kin." When Harry's expression faltered, Sirius quickly continued, "Or Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff or S-Slytherin..." Sirius pulled Harry up into his arms, "It doesn't matter which one, just what you _do_ while you're in it. Maybe you'll single-handedly win the House Cup!"

James, a bit ahead with Jamie suddenly glanced around for the two and turned back, telling Jamie to wait.

Sirius looked off into the distance with stars in his eyes and Harry couldn't help but giggle.

James was about to turn the corner, but he had just heard Harry's voice, and he was- giggling? James felt a twinge of pain and he paused, listening.

"Laughing at your old man, huh? I'll get you for that!" Sirius mercilessly tickled the surprisingly light eleven-year old in his arms until the boy shrieked that they were in public and to stop. Sirius relented slowly, neither noticing his slip-up or James' prescence. Nearly exhausted, Harry leaned into Sirius's shoulder.

"I love you, Paddy," He mumbled.

Sirius's face softened and he pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead, glad the boy seemed too tired to protest, "I love you, too." Sirius sighed, at Hogwarts, Harry wouldn't want his Paddy embarrassing him in front of all his friends- these moments would be few and far between. As he put the boy down and shook him gently to awareness, he missed James' snarl, stifled halfway through as he turned and walked away.

**I can't... type... any more... Nisfulga (writer's block) is trying... to pull me... from the keyboard... I will... update more... at a later... date...**

**Review... Please...?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Dang, this is ANGSTY. Good thing it's short.**

**Dedicated to Galaxy, within whom, are we all. o.0 whoa.**

**Diss the Claim: No, no I am not J. K. Rowling. I'm far too Slytherin-biased for that.**

James was acting weird. No, scratch that, he'd passed weird a few days ago. In the week left before they went off to Hogwarts, James seemed to be trying to do anything and everything Harry wanted. Sirius had frowned when James suggested a later bed time, raised an eyebrow when he brought home a bookshelf-worthy stack of books on charms- Harry's favorite subject, but he downright put his foot down when he heard James was planning to get Harry a Scamander.

"Padfoot, don't be a party pooper, Scamanders are awesome!" James grinned, "Any son of mine would love them!"

Sirius scowled. There was another thing. James had taken to saying that Harry was his son whenever possible, sliding it into the most mundane of conversations like it was meant to be there.

Harry pouted adorably at Sirius and the Black winced. James also seemed to be making _him_ into the bad guy. _Him, _Sirius Orion Black! _I'm_ _the _fun_ parent, dammit! _Sirius blinked and shook the thought from his head. Harry let the pout fall off his face like it had never been there and instead sent Sirius his most genuine pleading look _ever_. Harry may disagree with James on quite a few issues, but he was milking James's odd mind set for all it was worth. He had confided in Jamie that it made him feel like Jamrongs was trying to bribe him, and since there was no way he would ever follow through with whatever the man was trying to get him to do, he might as well try and get as much out of him as he can before Jamrongs began asking for whatever it was he wanted. Jamie had objected to this tactic, but Sirius falling into the room as Harry opened the door to leave with Jamie stopped the conversation. Sirius's ears were still ringing from that encounter.

"I just don't think it'd be very responsible to give an eleven year old a fire-breathing lava-pooing reptile more than half the size he is!" Sirius exclaimed, frustrated to no end and backed into a corner. _No! I sound like _Moony_! _He managed, however, to keep his internal lamentations just that, internal.

James's eyes hardened, "Well, that's not for you to decide, is it?"

Sirius bristled and in his mind Padfoot's hackles rose. "The hell it isn't! Harry's got horrible luck with any creature even remotely dangerous!" _Need I mention a certain hiking trip gone awry?_ Harry had startled a herd of placid, unusually peaceful deer in the forest. In retaliation, they tried to trample him. After dashing in and pulling him out of the way of the stampeding herd from Hell, Remus kept muttering, "But they were so tame when I say them yesterday. So tame."

Harry began to look as though he was reconsidering the pros and cons of owning a Scamander- which was infinitely more volatile than a non-magical herd of deer. "Paddy has a point."

James didn't glance away from Sirius's face, "Don't give in, Harry, I know you've gotten used to obeying Sirius but you don't _have_ to anymore."

Harry's nose crinkled, after all, what kid likes to hear that they're "used to obeying" someone? Sirius glared, "I'm still his godfather!"

James's hand tightened around the wand he held near his pocket. "AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HIS FATHER!" He bellowed furiously, before taking a deep breath. The venom of his voice stayed the same but his volume decreased drastically. "He is _not_ your son!"

Sirius recoiled as if James had dealt his a physical blow, "Yes." The anger had washed out of his words, leaving them dull and empty, "I know that."

James spat, "Good. Wouldn't want my _best friend_ to steal away my son, now would we?"

"No, no," Sirius agreed in an absent sort of depression, as if his thoughts were miles away, and the place they landed in just as gloomy as where they started. "Wouldn't want that."

"Maybe," James began to chose his words carefully, despite his obvious anger, "Maybe it would be better if you found somewhere else to stay after the school year ends."

"I-" Sirius seemed to come around a bit more, "No, I can't- I-" James's glare hardened. "...Maybe."

Harry's face was pale and Jamie was covering his ears with his hands, eyes screwed shut tight. "Jamie," Harry whispered urgently as James and Sirius faced each other in silence. Jamie didn't look up and Harry couldn't look away. "Jamie," He repeated with a little more emphasis, patting blindly at the older boy's shoulder.

Jamie cracked open one eye and uncovered the ear facing Harry. "What?"

"I-" Harry tore his gaze from the two men, one steaming mad, the other seemingly pushed from his body by melancholy, and met Jamie's eyes. "Catch me?"

Harry's eyes rolled up in his head as he fell.

**Review? (isnotacliffieisnotacliffieisnot- *strangled once again by Truth and Justice working side by side*)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yay, no more cliffie! I think.....**

**Dedicated to one who is bigger than solar systems- Galaxy the anonymous reviewer! (figurative bigness of course)**

**Diss the Claim: It's not one of us.**

Jamie clutched the small body to him, "No way, you guys were the ones who made him faint in the first place!" -with his wand pointing towards the two men while in the furthest corner of the room from Sirius and James.

Sirius was paler than Jamie had ever seen him and James was moving the opposite direction on the color spectrum- Jamie was sure that shade of red wasn't entirely natural and absently aspired to turn Marcus Flint that colour one day.

Sirius held one hand out pleadingly, "Please let m-us near him, we just want to help."

James glared in Sirius's direction quickly, "Don't you dare-"

Sirius looked over at him and a bit of his fire returned, "You really think _now_ is the time to argue?! YOUR SON just passed out!" James backed up slightly, looking offended and vaguely puzzled. Sirius shot a venomous look at his fellow Gryffindor before muttering a quick "Expelliarmos" and snatching Jamie's wand from the air as it flew past him. He hurried over to the two boys and fell to the ground beside them. He pointed his wand at Harry's chest, "Enervate."

Harry opened his eyes with a deep inhalation, then forced it all out in one puff of air. His eyes fixed on Sirius and he gripped the man's sleeve, "Don't leave me."

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked urgently, eyes flickering over the boy and noticing the dark shadows under his eyes. "Have you been sleeping at_ all_?"

Harry didn't seem to care if Sirius was left hanging, "Please don't leave me, Paddy."

Sirius glanced at an expressionless James, "I'll try."

Harry's expression darkened from a blank bewilderedness to the sardonic anger Sirius was familiar with. "You'd better_ try _or so help me Merlin I will take one of those _brooms_ you love so much and ram it up your-"

"Ahem." Harry looked up at an amused Jamie, whose lap he was still on, "Two things. One: you probably shouldn't finish that sentence, and two: mind letting the circulation return to my legs?" Harry nodded, throwing a glance at both of the men in the room as Jamie helped him to his feet. The expression on James' face suggested he was either about to start laughing or crying and Sirius seemed stuck on a muted anger mixed with concern as his delicately dark brows furrowed.

"I haven't been sleeping well lately. None of you saw anything." Harry glared at each individual, before adding offhandedly, "I'm sure I have enough _pictures_ of each of you to ensure silence?" Sirius winced, Harry really had a knack for taking photos of rather commonplace events and having them turn out, well- incriminating or downright embarrassing. At first, it had just ben a quirk Harry had deeply been irritated with, but eventually Harry was 'enlightened' and decided to use it as a weapon. Jamie looked on in admiration at the intimidating coldness Harry was emitting that, for an eleven year old who had just fainted in full sight of three Gryffindors, was deeply impressive. James was torn- was he proud of this Marauderish trait, or furious it was being used against him?

"Are you sure you're alright?" James queried gruffly, deciding on pride but too riled up to be happy.

Harry's eyes snapped to him, "I'll be fine... As long as Paddy can stay around here, of course."

Tension froze the air in the room momentarily, and Jamie later swore it was almost as bad as if a dementor had walked in during mid-Winter.

"Of course- of course, my best friend is staying here, isn't he?" James flicked his gaze to Sirius and back, not pausing for Sirius's slightly more determined nod. "Why you would even bring that up is beyond me..."

"I don't know, really," Harry answered in a tone too casual to _be_ casual, "I guess I was just thinking how _horribly _I'd take it if Paddy suddenly had to leave Potter Manor, even _with_ my parents here."

_Don't fight my battles! _Sirius thought, angrily trying to drown out the voice berating him for not standing up for his right to stay with Harry. If nothing else, Sirius was still legally Harry' godfather, and he'd taken care of the boy for just around 10 years. By now, Sirius's Gryffindor traits _should_ be screaming at him to fight James to a standstill, it was completely natural. Of course.

There was a long pause while everyone groped for words beyond the conflict, but it seemed as if the door had been slammed shut on anything peaceful or kind.

"So Hogwarts tomorrow?" Jamie started with a false cheerfulness, "How's everybody looking forward to that?"

**Reviews actually do make me write faster. :) Hard to believe, I know, but it's true.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Just to let you all know, there will be no romantic pairing for Harry, but he and Draco will be quite close and it will be a running joke for them to be mistaken as a couple. :) So some of you don't freak out later on...**

**Diss the Claim: I Siriusly do NOT own Harry Potter...**

**Don't you love that Draco is in the Hogwarts Motto?**

**Dedicated to Galaxy, the anonymous reviewer!**

"Come _on_," Harry tapped his foot impatiently on the oaken floor in front of the door. "I was ready _half an hour ago_."

Jamie, sitting on his trunk and leaning against the cream walls of the entrance hall, groaned, "If we could just take the floo DIRECTLY to Hogwarts-"

"No!" Milly reiterated firmly as she rushed by.

"What she _means _to say is that it's a tradition. Also, part of the Sorting actually takes place on the train," Harry added musingly, "So that's probably _why_ it's a tradition."

"What?" Jamie turned on his sideways trunk and pulled Hedwig's cage onto his lap so he could see around it, "What's that about?"

"In _Hogwarts: A History (Teacher's Edition), _it says that wards on the train record and transmit the actions of every first year to the Sorting Hat since it's..." Harry looked up at the ceiling to try and remember the exact wording, "It's "the soul shown outward and the soul within which determines the House and Family the student shall be submitted to.'"

"How did you get a Teacher's Edi-" Jamie paused, then spoke in such a disbelieving tone that it could have been a question, "You stole it from James's library."

Harry smirked, "I stole it from Jamrongs's library."

Jamie's eyes widened, and Harry hid it away as Sirius dashed down the stairs pulling Jamrongs behind him. Milly emerged from the front room, realized everyone was in the same room for once, and herded the children out the door. The three professors needed to floo straight to the Headmaster's office to help prepare in a half hour, but the Wizarding Hub (where public floos were located for their district) was only a few blocks from the house, so the kids and adults would be leaving at different times.

Sirius popped his head out the door, "Love you, Harry-" Harry's tackle-hug cut him off, and he caught his breath before continuing, "Be good, and we'll be proud of you no matter which House you end up in."

"GRYFFINDOR!" Jamrongs bellowed cheerily from inside.

Harry sighed and Sirius ruffled his hair, "See you at the Welcoming Feast. Avoid the Malfoys and the other mini Death Eaters!" With that parting advice, Sirius snapped the door shut behind them and rejoined the frenzy.

"Let's go..." Jamie sighed defeatedly as they set off for the Godric's Hollow Wizarding Hub. Milly had vetoed having a floo connection in the house after the Weasleys were attacked through a supposedly well warded floo during a family reunion, resulting in an orphaned Jamie and a widowed Molly Weasley. A thought seemed to occur to Jamie and he turned to Harry with a grin, "Let's just floo directly to Hogwarts without their permission."

Harry rolled his eyes, "_You _may not have to be sorted, but unless you've forgotten. _I _still do."

"Right," Jamie's eyes nearly crossed as he thought, "I guess I'll just go along with you to the station and train. I can… be your body guard!"

Harry let one eyebrow rise above the other- a skill he was proud of and quick to show off, "And why would I need a body guard?"

Jamie waved a hand dismissively, and easily hefted his charmed trunk under an arm, "You're the mysterious missing Potter scion. Let's get going or we won't have enough time to find a compartment- or even get on the train."

They trotted down the street, dodging pedestrians in light jackets and clumps of soggy, fallen leaves. The crisp autumn air cut right through their thin clothing, despite the layers, and instead of stopping to put on their thick winter robes, the two boys simply broke into a run. When they reached the only streetlamp that had yet to turn on , Harry surreptitiously slid his wand from his pocket as Jamie blocked the bystanders' view. For a moment, Harry marveled at the leaf-shaped abalone inlay on the handle of his cherry wand, but a hissed reminder from Jamie had him back to the task at hand soon enough. Casually, but with a sense of awed importance, Harry ran his wand from the rusted bolt a quarter of the way up the streetlamp to the faint red line circling the pole of the light. As the light flashed on, a dingy antiques shop came into view, but from the non-reaction of those standing around them, it was only for the two young wizards. Excitedly, they half stumbled, half skipped across the street into the small store. Inside, there were shelves filled with odd Muggle paraphernalia, such as spark plugs, football posters, and toasters from the eighties. Right alongside these were common potion ingredients, such as frog parts, aconite, and many of the non-magical components that went into a potion, and broom care kits. Nearly every kind of non-magical merchandise for the magical world was represented in the odd shop posing as a store of antique oddities.

"'ere for the floo?" The purple-haired teen girl at the counter deadpanned wearily. Without waiting for a response, she hooked a thumb over her shoulder, "In th'back. Powder's by th' f'replace."

"Thank you!" Jamie chirped as Harry sent a grateful nod in her direction. She shrugged and returned to her Witches' Weekly with a pop of her gum.

"You'll love Hogwarts," Jamie chattered happily, "The Great Hall is amazing, the girls are beautiful, and the food is great!"

Harru scrunched up his nose to hide the wave of sudden homesickness, "You sound like Sirius."

"I'm always serious!" Jamie joked, tweaking the younger boy's nose as they headed into the dark backroom and took a pinch each of the silvery powder piled on the mantle of the crackling fireplace. "Platform nine and three quarters!" He threw his pinch down on the flames as he spoke and stepped through.

"Now _that_ was just freaky," Harry said to himself before following suit, making sure to pronounce the words clearly and praying he would make a dignified exit. It was not to be and he tumbled into Jamie's arms at the other end of the smooth, yet nauseating ride. "Thanks," He muttered grudgingly, the words tugged from his lips like a mule from its feed.

"No need to fall over yourself in gratitude, now." Jamie smiled as he brushed some of the soot from Harry's shoulders.

Harry shook off his hands impatiently and finished the job himself, "Let's just go."

Jamie poked him in the forehead, "Relax a little, firstie Harrietta. _I'm_ protecting you."

Harry scowled, "I don't need protection, and I'm not a _girl_."

"Sure you aren't, Harrietta, sure you aren't…" He looked around the marble platform and spotted a mass of red hair, "I've got to go and tell Aunt Molly I got here safe, wait here a second." He dashed off into the crowd and Harry obstinately made his way towards the train. _I don't _need_ him _protecting_ me._ The joke had been funny at first, but was quickly getting old, and Harry's pride was more than a little sore. Quickly finding an empty compartment, he slammed the door shut and sat down with a huff.

"…Hello…" Right, not so empty, then. Harry's head whipped towards the voice and he found himself eye-to-eye with a mildly confused platinum blonde who quickly controlled his facial expression and held out a hand warily. "I'm Draco Malfoy, scion of the Ancient and Noble House of Malfoy."

Harry felt something flare in him that blanked his expression and lit a cold fire in his veins. In a moment of rebellion he ignored the frowning Sirius in his thoughts and replied, "I am Harry James Potter, scion of the _most_ Noble House of Potter _and_ the _most Ancient and Noble_ House of _Black_." Somehow, his somewhat snotty overemphasis went right over Draco's head as the boy's eyes widened then quickly narrowed.

"So… What House do you think you'll be in?" He asked flippantly, "I just _have _to be in Slytherin, there hasn't been a Malfoy in any other House for _centuries_."

Harry shrugged carefully, maintaining outward boredom as he spoke, "I can't see myself in a House full of idiots, so Gryffindor is out," Draco blinked and Harry continued more confidently, "I think Ravenclaw would be a little too rigid for me, and the Hufflepuffs… Well I think I'd about _die_ if _that's_ where I ended up." A smirk spread across Draco's face momentarily.

"Father was wrong about you, I think," He started slowly, then gave Harry a lopsided grin as he continued, "You obviously have the caliber to belong in the _best_ of the HogwartsHouses…"

Harry pretended confusion, "What, Gryffindor?" He grinned toothily as Draco mock-scowled.

"Yes, Gryffindor," He drawled. Scrunching his nose, he continued more seriously, "No of course not! It's Slytherin!"

Harry smiled, "What subject is your favorite?"

"Potions," Draco answered without pause.

Harry turned and rested his chin on his fist, elbows on his knees, "That was a little too quick, Malfoy."

The silence stretched until Draco rolled his eyes, "Alright, I like Defense Against the Dark Arts best, happy?"

"Perfectly. You see how much simpler it is to tell the truth the first time? Why lie?" Harry steepled his fingers and placed them on his knee, feeling vaguely fidgety but thoroughly enjoying his apparent advantage over the blonde.

Draco sniffed, "That's for me to know, but my wand does have a certain affinity for defense against Dark Arts."

Harry perked up, "Really? What core and wood?"

Draco whipped it out proudly, puffing up a little as he said, "Dogwood and unicorn hair. 13 inches, whippy, and brilliant for countercurses and protection spells." Storing it away in his chest pocket, he gestured, "Come on, then, let's see yours."

Harry was slower to draw but no less proud as he showed off the gleaming cherry wood. "Cherry wood with abalone inlay and powdered grindylow claw; it's 11 inches, flexible, and performs well in all subjects but especially in Charms."

Draco frowned, "11 inches? Looks the same length as mine." He took out his wand once more and the two held them side by side, when the train began to move and the two wands jostled together.

At the same time they looked up, hearing a rather odd voice from above, "One down, two to go!"

There came a knock at the door.


	10. Chapter 10 FIXED

**1,662 words~ yay! lol**

**Diss the Claim: No owning of, have I, the Harry Pottering ways, that created has the JK Rowling. "These are not the droids you're looking for."**

**Dedicated to anonymous reviewer Galaxy. Who has only reviewed once :(**

**I had fun writing this chapter. There's... "humour" and angst! I like angst for some reason. It just... Is fun to write...**

**OKAY THANK YOU ALL WHO POINTED OUT THE CHAPTER WAS SOMEHOW... Written twice? I have no clue how that happened... -_-; But I have fixed it! Thanks everybody!**

A boy with strawberry blonde hair and a put upon expression popped his head in and asked, "Anyone seen a toad? Some girl with bushy hair is looking for it."

Harry shook his head, and looked inquiringly at Draco, who replied thoughtfully, "I think... I saw one... Oh, two cars down... But that was when I first got on the train, so..." He trailed off unhelpfully with an elegant shrug and Harry rolled his eyes.

The boy, obviously a first year by his unadorned robes, twisted his mouth in discontent, "_Thanks_ for that."

"Anytime," Draco responded nonchalantly, waving off the "gratitude."

"I guess I might see you both at Hogwarts," He looked as if he was considering whether or not he really wanted to, "I'm Ernie Macmillan."

"Harry and Draco Malfoy," Harry introduced, gesturing at himself and Draco in turn.

"You don't _look_ alike; betrothed?" Ernie ventured uneasily.

Harry paused, confused, before understanding made his face light up red, "No! No, no, I just am not giving out my last name yet..."

Ernie nodded condescendingly, and returned disbelievingly, "_Ri-ight_, that's _got _to be it," before turning on his heel to leave, closing the door behind him,

Harry stared at the closed door, muttering plans of vengeance as Draco determinedly kept a straight face, as maniacal laughter was only appropriate on the _inside_ right now.

Elsewhere, Jamie ran frantically through the cars, throwing open doors and ignoring the indignant and sometimes embarrassed shouts of the occupants within, with only one word on his lips.

"HARRY!"

Harry sneezed suddenly and Draco offered him a monogrammed handkerchief wordlessly without looking up from the book he had taken out during the time it took for Harry to calm himself. After blowing his nose, he folded it neatly, "I'll wash it and give it back."

Draco shook his head, "I've got a ton, keep it."

Harry crinkled his nose and slid it into a small drawer near the bottom of his trunk, "_Thanks_."

Draco rolled his eyes at the pages of his book, but refrained from offering any scathing remarks about how hackneyed sarcasm had become. Harry sat down heavily with a sigh, and when Draco continued to ignore him, he scooted closer so he could read over the blonde's shoulder. Draco's eyes flickered towards him absently, but dismissed his existence as "insignificant" and returned to the book. The page was, as per usual for magical texts, written by quill on parchment; although each book only need be written once and magical copies could be made, muggleborns often complained that using a typewriter was much easier and simpler. Harry recognized it as _The Standard Book of Spells: First Edition _and surprisingly, it was well worn, with dog-eared pages and writing in the margins with different ink colors. With both boys immersed in the reading, silence reigned supreme until they came to one section where Harry just had to know what was going through the head of whoever wrote the last note. "How does getting angry increase the potency of a Cheering Charm?" He asked incredulously, "That doesn't make any sense."

Looking up, Draco blinked rapidly as his mind tried to process what was going on in the real world before he regained his composure. "If you had read the note beneath that, you'd have seen that I tried it out, and wrote that it was probably because when you're angry, you tend to push more power into your spells than you would in normal situations, and people tend to under-cast the cheering charm- which actually requires much more energy than you would think, since you're literally changing someone's mindset and outlook, though." There was, in fact, a spiky green scrawl beneath the words Harry had his finger on.

Instead of grinning evilly and tackling the rich, influential, intelligent, and _thankfully _fun to be around boy he had just now decided would be his new "best friend" in a flying pounce-glomp-hug, he smiled and thanked Draco for explaining. _I was so very, very smart to befriend the Malfoy heir, _He grinned at Draco, who looked ever so slightly torn between amusement and mystification, and they returned to the book with Harry asking clarifying questions every so often, or rather, every other page since he swore that if it wasn't really doodles, then the green inked onto the page was _definitely_ not the Queen's English.

Around halfway through the book, Draco's scrawling notes died out, leaving the book dominated by squared off, blocky black, and loopy flowing red cursive with every single vowel separated from its relevant word. Harry smirked at Draco's last attempt at an addition, 'I have absolutely no clue.'

"Hey, I only got this book from father two weeks ago," Draco defended, "I was planning to continue on the train, and it's not like I could just ignore the other school books."

Harry leaned in with a smug grin and opened his mouth, ready to agitate his future best friend further, 'testing the limits' shall we say, when the door to their compartment slammed open.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Jamie shrieked, before continuing in a slightly "manlier" shout, "DO YOU _KNOW_ HOW _LONG_ I'VE BEEN WORKING MY _ARSE_ OFF, _LOOKING _FOR _YOU_?"

Harry bristled, "I'm not a kid, Jam-"

"The hell you aren't!" Jamie retorted, "What if something had happened to you? You're the only heir to the Potters _and _the Blacks!"

"I can take care of myself-" Harry started, beginning to feel guilty only to be cut off yet again.

"Right, like you've done so far, staying near a _Malfoy._ Are you _canoodling_ with the _enemy_? What, is he your _boyfriend_?" Draco and Harry slid slightly away from each other, despite not knowing what "canoodling" meant.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Harry exclaimed, standing up as he spoke, "Stop it! It's not like you're really my brother, anyway!" Shocked silence met his words, and he winced, "I'm sor-"

"No, no need, I'm _not_ your brother," Jamie's face was stone, and Harry felt himself growing cold from the iciness in his voice, "But I _do_ care about you, and I _do _know you need _someone _to act like a brother, so you know what? I'm the best you can get." He turned to walk out of the room, yet paused at the threshold, "I'll be in the compartment two doors over if you need me." The door shut with a quiet click, but Harry still winced. Draco hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder and Harry closed his eyes, putting his head in his hands. Growing bolder as Harry hadn't rejected the friendly comfort, Draco moved so his arm was around the slumped boy's shoulders.

"I don't know a thing about brothers- only child- but…" Harry looked up at Draco through his fingers to encourage him to continue, "I think he'll come around. You didn't say any thing _too _bad."

Harry groaned again and slid to the floor in a puddle of despair. Despite being a wonderful addition to his influence politically and great for his magical growth, Draco obviously could not be counted on for family advice. Draco pulled him back up onto the seat, and then stood to take down his trunk.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked quietly after a few moments of rustling as Draco rummaged through the magically expanded trunk.

"Changing," Draco responded, pulling his shirt over his head when he found a white button-up shirt with the Hogwarts crest on a corner of the collar, "You should, too; we're almost there."

Harry turned this over in his mind. "How do you know?"

"My father told me around how long the trip takes."

"Oh." Harry had nothing left to say, and commented vacantly, "Handy."

"Yep."

**That... was a "dramatic" ending... But I wanted... To post what I had.**

**Does anyone else have this weird image of Draco spinning dramatically to face Ernie in a dress with medium blonde curls to give him a lusty wink before saying "Anytime" or is that just me?**

**In my head:**

**"_Thanks_." The sarcasm was as subtle as a pissed off rhinoceros, but it slid off Draco like water off a duck's back.**

**Draco crossed his legs, causing the skirt to ride up slightly and show his legs. With a sultry grin, Draco gave the boy a slow wink, "Anytime."**

**Harry rolled his eyes and shut the door as Ernie turned bright red and fell to the ground in a dead faint.**

**:End**

**Well, uh *cough* THAT was weird... No Draco will not be crossdressing nor feminine in the actual story. Thank you good night. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Dedicated to... Galaxy. ... ... ...**

**Diss the Claim: I hate you, Claim. We're _over_.**

**Alrighty it's done and over 1000 words. I almost stopped at 509 because of the boring-ness of typing up what I had written down. :) But I _didn't_. :D**

After changing into their Hogwarts robes, Draco pulled out a deck of exploding snap and proceeded to thoroughly lose every single round.

"Although you have such a good poker face, you always seem to get the worst cards," Harry mused aloud just to see the recently pronounced vein beneath Draco's eye jump. "It's almost as if... you rigged the deck... But, you wouldn't get caught in your own trap, would you?" Harry smirked as the vein pulsed ominously, which was as good as admitting the "crime."

Draco threw his cards down with a growl, "Snap." Following the small explosion, Draco continued, "I'm not one of the stupid Gryffindors, you know. You messed with the way I had it set up!"

Harry pouted innocently, "Would I do that to you?"

Draco sighed, seemingly expelling his anger with the gesture, "If you're always this _sadistic_ when you're upset I'm going to need to invest in some insta-lock handcuffs..."

Harry, despite the teasing tone, backed up slightly in shock, "_What_?"

Draco rolled his eyes, "Just go apologize already if you feel so bad about it."

"I don't-" Harry defended.

Draco held up a hand for a silence that was grudgingly given, looking pointedly at the door. Harry's hands clenched into fists at his sides for moment, and then he stood and hastily made his way out of the compartment. He stopped with one hand on the door and turned back to give Draco a casually genuine smile, "Thanks."

Harry ran past the first compartment door and slowed himself forcibly to a walk by the second. He knocked on the door to give warning (since he didn't care if the others in the compartment wanted him coming in or not), visibly gathered himself, and opened it fully. With his eyes squeezed shut so he couldn't see his audience, he blurted, "Jamie, I'm sorry I said what I did and I hope you forgive me and I didn't mean any of it at all." He peeked through his lashes at a shell shocked Jamie and two other less confused boys- a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff- staring at him unabashedly. Perhaps this hadn't been such a good idea. Harry felt it would be an understatement if someone labeled him as "a good possible participent in testing whether or not floors really will, in fact, swallow deathly mortified children." _i don't know why I"m this embarrassed; it's not as if I thought he'd be alone, _he berated himself. "I'll just go-"

Jamie caught his arm and pulled him into a bear hug with a sniff, "Of course I'll forgive you! You're too cute not to, Harrietta!"

Harry broke free of the hug with flaming cheeks, "Just because I apologized doesn't mean I'm suddenly all mushy like you Gryffindors!" The other two assumed third years laughed, compounding Harry's desire to strangle that which he apologized to for making him lose his composure.

Jamie grinned at him unrepentantly and called as Harry slammed th door behind him, "Love you, lil sis!" Harry was not quick enough in leaving to avoid hearing the Hufflepuff's incredulous,

"That was a _girl_?"

_I... Am going to throw him off the Astronomy tower... I heard it's good for that sort of thing..._ Slightly more cheerful, Harry returned to his compartment wondering if Draco would have any good ideas for revenge.

(o0o0o0o0o0o)

Sirius paced the floor of the Great Hall, ignoring Snape and the Sorting Hat's snide comments and any attempts on James's part to cheer him up.

"What are you all ruffled over?" Sirius looked up at James' innocent hazel eyes. There_ is a man who _thinks_ his son is going to Gryffindor. And here _I_ am, the man who knows he _isn't_._ Sirius ignored the man, turning his face back towards the floor and sidestepping the bewildered Gryffindor. _Maybe he'll be in Ravenclaw? Or Huff- What am I _thinking?_ -I hope he's in Ravenclaw!_ Sirius sighed when Dumbledore informed them the train had entered Hogwarts Station and Conductor John Terrington reported no out of the ordinary incidences. The Sorting Hat piped up that the Weasleys on the train hadn't seen the latest Malfoy yet. James and Sirius snorted almost simultaneously and grinned at each other, united once again in mayhem.

"We'll definitely-" Sirius started.

"-need to introduce them," James ended with a mischevious wink.

"None of that will be happening if I have my way," McGonagall, her hair up in a tight bun and dressed in dark emerald dress robes, fixed them with a wary eye, "You're not too old to get a good old fashioned lecture."

"Minnie!" Sirius cried, wrapping her in a hug she easily slipped out of with a whack to the side of his head for good measure.

"That's Professor McGonagall to you," She pulled a wisp of her hair in irritation.

"Minnie, it's so good to see you! What are you doing here?" Lilly asked excitedly as she pecked the older woman on the cheek. Sirius gaped at the double standard and James laughed while hiding his face behind his hands.

McGonagall's face softened slightly, and she twisted her mouth into a wry smile, "Albus called in a favor so I would inspire the fear of god in the new troublemakers this year. He's off at the Ministry and says that he wants me to take over the duties of the Headmaster for the week."

"Is that even legal?" Sirius whispered to James, trying to keep his mind in the present to restrain it from leaping forward to the Sorting.

"It shouldn't be," James laughed quietly.

McGonagall raised her voice slightly, "And of course to keep some of the more ..._unruly_ teachers under control. He said I even have the authority to give them _detention_ like in the good old days."

"Imagine that," Lilly replied with a sparkle in her eyes and a smile on her lips.


	12. Chapter 12 With New Improved AN

**Yay, 1009 words not counting this message and my bold writing!**

**Dedicated to Galaxy, the one in which all things revolve.**

**Diss the Claim: L Lawliet owns Harry Potter and the universe! Because L is awesome and he should have taken over the world. Unfortunately, J K Rowling actually owns Harry Potter, and someone else owns L... Not me...**

**Edit(3/9/2011): I'd forgotten a rant was up and had meant to take it down the next chapter, but it slipped my mind until a reviewer mentioned it. So now, it is being replaced by a calm, "this is when I decided Harry was asexual, aromantic, and would have lots of fun problems with this fact)**

Draco looked away from the window to the Potter scion beside him. Harry's head lolled to the side and his hair seemed messier than usual, while a strand of spit disconnected from his lip and landed with an imagined splat on the seat. Despite his warning that they'd be arriving soon, Harry had taken it upon himself to take a nap before they got there and, to Draco's dismay, he'd succeeded. Draco pulled out another handkerchief and, wincing, braced himself for what he was about to do. He reached out and hastily realigned Harry's head before wiping the boy's mouth and throwing the handkerchief on the ground in disgust. Harry's head dipped in the opposite direction, almost on Draco's shoulder, and he quickly shut his fellow first year's mouth. Hopefully, any more saliva would stay where it was meant to be, _in his mouth_.

Draco always had hated drooling.

McGonagall stood at the doors and pushed her glasses up her nose as she skimmed her to-do list. She couldn't imagine how any one else survived a day without them. Lists were important; they made things clear and to the point, and gave each day a sense of order and propriety it wouldn't otherwise have. Yes, lists were important, and this list had only one item left unchecked. She looked up and cleared her throat. As the room fell silent, she took a moment to revel in that ability before asking loudly enough for the entire Great Hall to hear her, "Who will lead the first years to the castle this year?"

Sirius, seeing his chance, answered along with James and Hagrid, "I will!"

At this point, Draco wasn't sure what to make of Harry Potter. He repeated himself in a more forceful tone, "_Wake up._" Harry twitched. Draco grabbed his shoulders and shook them slightly, "Harry Potter, you need- ow!" Draco backed away mirroring Harry as they both held their heads. "Why did you try to _stand_ when I woke you?" Draco demanded, "Of all the-"

"Oh hush, it's not like I meant to," Harry interrupted crossly, cringing as he felt his head.

The door opened softly and both boys squeezed their eyes shut at the noise. Jamie slid into the room, amused at the sight of the little firsties so obviously in self-inflicted pain. Harry looked up, "Hi."

Jamie pushed Harry into Draco, nearly causing both boys to fall off the seat, and sat next to Harry with an abundance of space on either side, "How's it going?" He ignored both glares, and continued, "We're only a few minutes away, so I came here to tell you and hopefully whip you both into a frenzy with stories of the evil _Sorting_."

Harry and Draco both snorted, then glanced at each other suspiciously. Harry replied, "I already know how we're Sorted thanks to the book I nicked from Jamrongs, remember?"

"Yes, but your Malfoy buddy may not..." Jamie trailed off, rubbing his hands together in glee as he fixed a bored-looking Malfoy with a manic grin.

"You're a Weasley, aren't you?" Draco drawled exasperatedly.

Jamie frowned, "How would-"

"Red hair and freckles," He returned dismissively, "And I _do_ know. I imagine the Weasleys are the only Purebloods that actually _follow_ that silly rule."

Jamie's cheeks flooded with color and Harry intervened, "Well, neither of the two families I've been around have told me, so I guess the Potters and the Blacks follow it as well. It's not all that important."

Jamie nodded steadfastly, "It _isn't_."

Draco glanced at the boy's robes, "I see what you said earlier about Gryffindors may be true..."

Harry abandoned his forming smirk and smiled sweetly, "Oh it is, but this one's rather lovable and cuddly like a Hufflepuff."

"Hey!" Jamie stuck out his lower lip, "I thought you said mushiness was a Gryffindor trait! Besides," Jamie's expression regained a touch of mischief, "with how you're hanging off of your 'Paddy' all the time, it's as if you were a true blue Huff-" His mouth kept going, but nothing came out. He scowled at Harry, and the two first years burst into laughter.

"I can't believe you didn't hear me over the sound of your own voice," Harry laughed, "And I can't believe you didn't see that coming!"

Draco tried to compose his features into a smirk, but couldn't help the joining in with Harry's inane giggling. "How lucky was it that the last spell I could actually contirbute anything on was _Silencio_?"

Harry began to stem the flow of his laughter until it was down to an erratic trickle, "That really helped, I thought I'd have to do it more than twice for it to work." Jamie's ears joined his cheeks in burning as he realized Harry had attempted the spell twice without him noticing. Both boys slowly calmed themselves, and eventually Harry turned to Draco, "Can I look up the counter for it in your book so Jamie isn't fuming in silence until some teacher notices his plight?" Harry already knew the counter spell, but the tips in Draco's text were spot on and without them Harry didn't think he'd even have been _able_ to cast the spell. Jamie looked horrified that Harry might not know the spell and had an appearance similar to a fish as his mouth worked frantically in silence. Draco pulled out the book and flipped through the pages, but didn't hand it to Harry.

Draco looked up from the book as he asked, "Do you mind if I try? I haven't had anyone to practice on since the house elves are mostly immune."

Harry shrugged, "Sure, go ahead."

Jamie fainted dead away.

**My, I'm packing in the... "humor"... Poor Jamie... Poor house elves... Poor Dobby...**


	13. Chapter 13 FIXED

**Yay! Updated! Next I will update SMH! ... I hope...**

**Diss the Claim: I do not... /rightsaffiliatedwithit... Except this plotline**

**Dedication: Dedicated. Still. :) XD**

**So uh. Yeah. Harry's asexual or something. There are no pairings. In fact... That would actually fit in with my plot so...**

**Yeah, Harry's asexual. :)**

After "waking up" when Draco discussed the new chance to try out some spells, Jamie attempted and failed to trick the duo into taking their suitcases with them off the train.

"I guess I'll just go without a hug from my 'little brother,' then..." Jamie sulked morosely, looking up at Harry through his bangs.

Harry hesitated, subconsiously taking a half-step backwards and glancing at Draco, "I'm not a gushy Gryffindor, you know-"

"I know, I know, you're growing up, and someday you won't ever get a hug again even if you ask for-" Jamie was cut off with an omph as Harry abandoned all dignity and grabbed the boy in a rough embrace. Jamie beamed, and as Harry stepped back, popped something into Harry's mouth. "You'll thank me later, really." Running after two red-headed boys which he proceeded to tackle to the ground, Jamie- erm, rolled- out of sight.

Draco opened his mouth to tease the Potter boy, but Harry interrupted him with an irritated string of nonsensical twirps.

"H- Harry?" Draco had a bit of trouble concealing his laughter as Harry tilted his head in a birdlike fashion and cheeped at him quizzically, "He gave you a Canary Cream!"

Harry's eyes widened, and then narrowed dangerously as Draco continued laughing. Taking out his wand, Harry appeared to ponder something before pointing it at Draco and making a garbled whistling noise. Draco paused, waiting for the effects of the obviously fumbled spell to hit him, and laughed even harder when nothing occurred. Although Harry's smirk was a little troubling, Draco overcame his giggles and the two new friends began walking in the direction all the shorter, unadorned students in the crowd were heading- towards a dark lake and a man taller than if Harry were standing on Draco's shoulders. The man had been shouting before, but was now deep in conversation with another first year. The gigantic male had a beard cascading halfway down his face that crinkled when he moved and a worn leather jacket with pocket studding the surface periodically. His small, dark, beetle like eyes reminded Harry eerily of the lake and were almost lost in the jungle of hair that was undecided whether it would curl, wave, or possibly just leap off of his body to freedom. The boy he was talking to was somewhat chubby and had a pinkish scar stretching across his face. Harry almost winced sympathetically at the freshness of the wound. He found himself, oddly enough, rubbing his own scarless forehead, and hastily returned his hand to his side. _What's that all about?_ He started forward to ask where the First Years were supposed to go- for some reason or another this wasn't included in _Hogwarts: A History, Teacher's Edition- _and was jerked back suddenly by Draco's hand on his shoulder.

Harry's indignent tweeting got the pair's attention, and the boy looked over. With a smile and a wave, he shouted, "Get over here, Ron!"

Harry grinned and Draco looked around himself as the boy's eyes met his unwaveringly, before pointing at his chest and mouthing, "Me?" The boy nodded exasperatedly and waved him over again. Draco glared at Harry, "I don't have any proof and I don't know what's going on, but I somehow feel that it's all your fault." Harry excitedly dragged him over to the formerly chatting pair.

"You're not Ron," The boy frowned as they approached.

"Obviously," Draco drawled, "That's what I was going to tell you."

"Well, sorry, I just can't tell all you Weasleys apart," he apologized.

Draco choked on his own spit and Harry pounded on his back until he started to breathe again. "What... _Exactly_ makes you think I'm a Weasley?"

The-one-who-Draco-shall-always-and-forever-hate cocked a brow until comprehension dawned, "Ohhh, you must be a muggleborn-" Harry snatched Draco's wand before he could put it to better use "-you see, the Weasleys are a pureblood family wellknown for their red hair. And freckles, but that's beside the point."

Draco gaped for a few moments before turning to the source of all his problems. "_YOU._" Harry twittered and hid Draco's wand in the inside pocket of his robe. "Undo it. _Now."_

Harry tried to explain that it would wash right out but the Canary Cream had obviously not yet worn off.

Luckily, the giant chose this moment to interfere and inadvertantly save Harry's life. "Now then, it's a li'l late teh be arguing, so go join tee ot'er firsties o'er in tee boats, yeh hear? I don't wan' any fightin'."

Draco rolled his eyes, but stalked towards the boats with Harry and the scarred boy a few steps behind.

:I'm Harry,: Harry attempted to say, holding out a hand.

Recognizing the handshake, though not his words, the boy took his hand and 'replied,' "Hi, I'm Neville Longbottom and please don't call me Nev."

Draco stopped walking and both Harry and Neville nearly collided with him. Spinning around with a smirk on his face, Draco smoothed his hair back. "I'm Draco Malfoy and this is Harry Potter. Want to ride in the same boat?"

Harry semi-silently cracked up at Draco's sudden kissing up and Draco elbowed him to silence the cheeping. Neville grinned and nodded, "Sure, I don't know anyone but Ron and he can get a little annoying."

Draco's smirk widened, "We're off to a good start already."

((line- I was soooo tempted to end it there but I promised a Sorting -enil))

Harry and co. climbed nervously into a rickety wooden boat that looked older than the school it'd be leading them to. Draco and Harry nervously scooted closer together, staring down into the dark surface that could be hiding any kind of sea monster or evil creature just waiting for some hapless boy to lean one... more... inch...

Neville sat down next to the only other passenger on the boat and swallowed his nerves to introduce the three of them, "Hello, these are Draco and Harry, and I'm Neville. What's your name?"

The dark haired boy slowly turned his head towards him and... Turned back to looking at the water and other boats ahead.

"Ah-" The other three boys felt as if an icy wind were blowing from the lanky brunette in the corner and gradually returned to starting their own conversation.

"So... Are you two childhood friends?" Neville asked curiously, since the two seemed so at ease with each other.

Harry twirped and shook his head, then patted Draco gravely on the shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure he's saying something like, 'No, we just clicked' but I have to disagree-" Harry twitched "-It's because he desperately craves my approval and wants nothing more than to make me happy." Draco's smirk widened to never-before-seen proportions as Harry took on the portrayal of a songbird attacking a cat.

"Are you just saying that because he can't defend himself...?" Neville guessed, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Yes," Draco affirmed smugly, "And also because he really needs a talented and- needless to say- gorgeous protector like me to survive out here in this man-hex-man world..."

Neville played along nodding knowingly as Harry burned a hole in the side of Draco's head and led Draco to wonder if he'd perhaps taken it a bit too far.

"E'erybody duck, theh's a bit o' an o'er'ang 'ere!" The splashes of those the warning had reached too late insured the other students all ducked down without complaint- even Draco. Well, complaint in the plural sense of the word. Any other mocking or whinging Draco might have planned died in his throat when they saw Hogwarts. The dark castle was silhouetted against a black sky, furthering its imposing stature. It towered above everything and was surrounded by an obviously wild and tangled forest that seemed sinister in its shadowy veil. Lights from lit windows danced on the water and gave the illusion that fairies flitted across the waves and past the craggy shoreline.

Suddenly the boats hit said coastline and the wands in Harry and Neville's hands jostled one another. The same disembodied voice commented offhandedly, "One left…"

Harry glanced upward, but, unable to share his concerns with the others, shrugged it off and began helping and being helped by Draco to get out of the boat. The lanky first year hopped out easily and mutely pulled Neville onto dry land. Draco and Harry's mutual fear of the lake sabotaged their joined escape efforts and they toppled out of the boat. Red stained the water and Draco came up a blond as nature intended. Harry used Draco's shoulder as a stepping-stone and flopped onto the grassy interval of the shore. Leaning back over the water, he grabbed Draco's ear and tugged him closer to shore. Draco responded by climbing up Harry like a ladder to safety. They collapsed, breathless, and muttered (and chirped!) obscenities at each other between pants.

"Here, Harry," Neville pulled Harry's arm over his shoulder, taking pity on the poor boy, "Let's go."

"What about me?" Draco whined.

The lanky teen with long black hair's eyes glinted and he appeared to materialize at Draco's side.

"I'm… Glad someone knows their place…?" Draco trailed off uncertainly as the boy determinedly helped him up to the castle.

It didn't take long to get their breath back, but it also was only a short walk to the castle. Once they were a few feet from the castle doors, both boys had recovered.

In front of the castle, Sirius and Jamrongs stood, pretending to be strict. They spotted Harry at the same time and waved enthusiastically before glaring at each other.

Harry groaned and hid his face in his hands, tweeting dejectedly. Draco slid an arm around his shoulders, "There, there, it's all right, not everyone can have a family life as amazing as mine." Harry had to settle for a venomous look from between his fingers rather than trying to convey a complex, yet sophisticated repartee. "I like you _so much_ when you can't talk back!" Draco teased.

Neville tried not to laugh and the long-haired teen ignored them.

"Okay lil firsties! Here's what's happening! In there is Attending Headmistress McGonagall, and she'll tell you what's going on!" Sirius bellowed cheerfully, much to the disappointment of those who had no clue what was about to occur.

"I heard they make us wrestle trolls!" Someone in the crowd said, and Neville's ears seemed to perk up.

"That's definitely Ron," He remarked quietly so as not to be overheard.

"I think they probably make us recite spells, and I've memorized the first year textbooks but I don't think that's enough-"

"-do you think we have to do four tasks, one for each house-"

"- _I _think everyone has to look into a crystal ball and tell the hall what they see-"

Harry tuned out the ramblings of the hall and made a series of complicated gestures and tweets at his new friends who nodded along until the end. Draco abruptly broke the silence. "I have no clue _what_ you're trying to say."

"No chance in a one cup guessing game," Neville agreed in relief.

The previously silent teen with them laid a hand on Harry's shoulder, "He says he hopes the Sorting ceremony is over soon so we'll know if we're in the same House."

Harry turned to him and whistled a little, pointing at the boy. "Oh, I'm Blaise Zabini. Nice to meet you too." The two boys smiled at each other and Draco and Neville felt that icy wind blow around them again as they found themselves left out.

"Are you an avisong*****?" Draco asked, trying to reinsert himself back into the conversation.

Blaise shook his head, "No, I-"

"Everybody inside! We'll bring you straight to the Sorting Hall!" Jamrongs shouted to be heard over the clamor, but no one listened.

Sirius puffed himself up full of air, "IF ANYONE IS LEFT OUTSIDE IN FIVE MINUTES YOU WILL HAVE ALREADY LOST YOUR HOUSE TEN HOUSE POINTS!" Everyone grew silent, and Sirius added thoughtfully, "Unless you're in Gryffindor." The first years scrambled into and over each other to get inside within the time limit.

Although the boys had no time to really look at the rooms they were rushed through, they all got a sense of ancient vastness and the feeling they were being watched- and judged. Harry wasn't all that sure whatever was judging them was finding them up to par. Just outside the doors of the Great Hall, Sirius muttered in a singsong voice, "We're la-ate."

In the same singsong undertone, James replied, "I kno-ow."

"Then let's-"

"-go!"

They pushed open the doors together and revealed the extravagance of the Great Hall. It wasn't overly opulent, but it definitely wasn't "plain." The walls arched upward into a ceiling hidden by an illusion of the night sky. It looked as if the building were open to the night air. The first years nervously grouped together towards the back of the room. A sharply angled woman with hawk-like yellow eyes called out, "Abbott, Hannah!"

A girl with pigtails rushed forward and stood uncertainly in front of the Hall. "Well? Sit down! Didn't Professors Potter and Black explain how you were to be Sorted?" Hannah shook her head shakily. Looking up from her scroll, she shouted, "You first years are to come up when your name is called, sit down on _this stool_," she pointed at an unsteady-looking three-legged stool, "And put the Sorting Hat on your head," the hat looked worse off than the chair, "And it will tell you where you belong."

A rip in the hat opened up and it grumbled, "I didn't get to sing this year."

"Oh hush," the professor hissed, "Enough of your grousing."

Hannah fainted and the Hat shouted, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Hat!" The witch scolded to giggles from the Hall and scowls from the Hufflepuff table, "Wait until you've actually had a chance to Sort her!"

"I've seen all I need to see," the Sorting Hat muttered.

Another teacher levitated Hannah off to the side and the Sorting continued. Out of their group, Neville was called up first. Mutters and gasps ran around the room like little ripples.

He hesitated, "Promise we'll be friends no matter what House we get into!"

Harry blinked, and nodded along with Blaise as Draco agreed eagerly, yet with a sly undertone that had Neville squint at him suspiciously before he left.

The Sorting Hat, seeing Neville approach, complained, "Oh come on, look at the bloody scar all the way across his face! Do I have to sit on his head to shout out 'Gryffindor?'"

"Bloody prat's untamable without Dumbledore here," the woman growled as Neville took his seat. Three excruciatingly long minutes later the Hat said, "Well, that was a waste of time. Gryffindor." The professor eyed him evilly as if contemplating dowsing him in kerosene and "accidentally" hitting him with an "incendio." "Oh fine, GRYFFINDOR!" Neville beamed as the Gryffindor House burst into applause and the red-headed boys and Jamie began chanting, "We got Longbottom! We got Longbotttom!"

"Well there goes that potential ally," Draco sneered.

Harry smirked, "You did promise." The two boys looked at each other in surprise before grabbing each other's arms and crying excitedly, "It wore off!" Harry snapped out of his reverie to look warily at Draco, "Why are _you_ so relieved?"  
"It was getting really annoying," Draco replied in a confidential tone, "I was about ready to snap your neck if one more tweet exited it."

"I'd like to see you try," Harry smiled sweetly.

"Malfoy, Draco!"

"Good luck," Harry called.

"Malfoys don't _need_ luck," Draco scoffed.

"Slytherin." The Hat said.

Draco stopped halfway to the stool, unsure whether he should accept it and run or demand a real Sorting.

"Oh get your arse on this stool," the teacher snapped, eliciting gasps and snickers from the student population.

The Hat barely brushed his head before it shrieked and pulled its brim up away from the blonde, "Slytherinslytherinslytherin!"

"What-" The professor started.

"Don't hurt me!" The Sorting Hat whined, before cracking up.

"Did someone pour sherry in this thing?" Draco decided not to answer her probably rhetorical question and headed towards the Slytherin table to uncertain applause. He sent a smirk Harry's way, daring him to make a better entrance.

It wasn't long until, "Potter, Harry!"

"Gryffindor. No, Hufflepuff," The hat commented in a bored tone as Harry walked up to the front. James paled and Sirius very nearly laughed, but the tension for him was too great.

As the hat was placed on his head, it fell down around his ears and blocked his view of the Hall. "Oh great, not another one."

"Another what?" Harry asked aloud, feeling antsy now that everyone could see him, but he couldn't see anyone else.

"I should have expected it since you were raised by that Gryffindor-from-Slytherin."

"Sirius?" Harry commented offhandedly.

"Yeah, him. Whatever. SLYTHERIN!"

Harry took off the Hat and carefully avoided looking at the Staff Table even as he heard a chair scrape across the floor and saw all eyes look behind him in that direction. However, when a resounding smack cracked through the air, he whirled around to see Sirius holding his cheek and James storming out of the Hall.

**Oh no, what will Lily's reaction be? How will Sirius respond to James's? Is James mad at Harry? Will he demand a reSorting? Tell me what you think!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Dedicated to Galaxy. Which one? Who knows... O.o**

**Diss the Claim: No. No I will not. Claims are nice to me! *Lawyers cock guns* !**

**Chapter 14 says pleadingly, "Read me?"**

Lily ran after James with a furious expression and Sirius sat down stoically, only shooting a half smile in Harry's direction. The Hall was silent as Harry took his seat but for Draco's irritated clapping. When even that died out, the hawk-eyed witch at the front of the hall cleared her throat and continued on with the Sorting. After the second student Sorted the Hall returned to normal and everyone began chattering on about Professors Potter and Black.

"Your father didn't look too thrilled to see you in Slytherin, eh Potter?" An older Slytherin with crooked and some missing teeth grinned caustically at him from a few seats down.

Harry controlled the hurt inside of him and replied flippantly, "He probably had heard of the upper years' horrid influence on the poor, impressionable firsties."

The older student leaned down the table, and Harry could smell something like pig fat as he hissed, "That the best you got?"

"Sit _down_, Flint," A girl with red curly hair bound up in two braids commanded, "Sorry, he's the Quidditch captain, and the best we got-"  
"But he's had one too many bludgers to the head? I sympathize," Harry cut in, looking for all the world that he well and truly cared for Flint's mental health.

"Zabini, Blaise!" Harry looked back to see where the stony boy would go.

The hat made only the preemptory comment, "I _hate_ Zabinis…" Which got it cuffed round the tip by the professor still standing there. "That's abuse!" He warned as they settled him on Blaise's head. "You're… Not what I expected from a Zabini…" The hat admitted grudgingly. "Although that scary family brainwashing-" The hat cut off suddenly with a squeak. "HUFFLEPUFF! DEFINITELY HUFFLEPUFF!"

Hannah, who had woken up and been properly Sorted already, squealed and fell off the bench in a dead faint.

Harry and Draco began to clap, and Harry commented, "That's a nice welcome."

McGonagall stood up shortly after. "May I please have silence?" She asked, regardless of the fact that all had zipped their lips the moment she seemed about to stand, "Good. Professor Dumbledore left me a little speech to give you but it's all nonsense so I will only say this: the Forbidden Forest and the third floor corridor are _forbidden_ for a reason-"

"Third floor corridor?" Some of the older Slytherins muttered amongst themselves.

"-And Mr. Filch, our esteemed caretaker, would like me to inform you that Fanged Frisbees have been added to the list of prohibited items. The full list is posted outside the caretaker's office." McGonagall was about to sit back down before she straightened and clapped her hands. Food appeared on the previously empty golden platters without a sound and McGonagall smiled at the enchanted faces of the muggleborns, "Dig in."

Sirius had never starved him, and only occasionally deprived him of a meal for bad behavior, but Harry had _never_ seen _this many_ of his favorite foods at one sitting! With the single-mindedness of growing boys, Harry and Draco tucked into their food with an unsettling fervor. It was followed up and finished with pudding all too soon.

"Please follow your prefects to your common rooms. I think we can skip the school song this year," The staff table heaved a collective sigh of relief to the disappointment of many- in Gryffindor.

Jamie jumped over his table ("Mr. Weasley!" McGonagall screeched.) and ran over to Harry before he could leave, "Will you tell me where the Slytherin common room is? Please?" He clasped his hands in front of him "cutely."

Harry twitched, "If you tell me the password to Gryffindor's."

Jamie gasped as the other Weasley twins caught up and began to drag him away, "So low! How are you even related to me?"

"I'm not," Harry pointed out. By this point the twins had dragged him to the disappearing point in the crowd and Harry was starting to lose sight of Draco. Making his way in the general direction the Slytherin Prefect had disappeared to, Harry was surprised to find Draco had waited for him. "Does widdle Draco need a fwiend by his side?" Harry snarked playfully, hiding his relief.

Draco stiffened and wouldn't meet Harry's eyes, "Of course not! I just- thought you might be frightened by yourself!" Harry smiled toothily, but said nothing, and they scurried after the Slytherin Prefect.

The corridors they followed all slanted downwards and at times were out right stairs. Harry wiped a cobweb from his face and scraped it off on the bumpy stone wall. "I _knew_ the common room was underground; I _didn't_ know it was at the _absolute bottom of the bloody dungeon_."

"Malfoys do not whinge about locations," Draco sniffed. Harry glared and he acquiesced, "It _does_ seem absurdly out of the way, but that's probably to help keep it from getting found by the other Houses."

"Yeah, yeah," Harry grumbled. As they walked down the seemingly identical hallways, Harry began to notice a pattern. The Prefect leading them always turned right three times, straight once, left twice, and then right three times again. He also seemed to be consulting some parchment he was unsuccessfully trying to keep hidden. By the time Harry was wondering if there was a basement _under _the dungeon, and that's where they were headed- the Prefect stopped in front of a patch of completely unmarked wall. This last hallway they'd walked down had statues periodically placed in alcoves in the wall. Following the pattern, there should have been another one right where the Prefect had stopped.

"Wisdom without power is thought without action." He spoke clearly enough for the assembled first years and higher years who simply needed the password to hear. The wall faded away, and the first years were herded and pushed through.

The common room was packed, and Harry could just barely make out the uncomfortable looking armchairs and couches underneath the rest of the student body. The color scheme was mostly dark browns and greens with slight silver accents here and there. The raw stone walls arced above them to form an intimidating, stalactite studded dome ceiling with a single steel chandelier hanging from it. There was a large, central fireplace that could easily fit half the first year class within it and a fire of proportions to match. Luckily, the fire roaring away cheerily within was not nearly as huge as it could be.

Suddenly the chatter of the students stopped as a man dressed entirely in black with similarly hued hair swept menacingly into the room. "For those new to Slytherin House, I am Professor Snape, your Head of House." Snape spoke in a neutral, low tone of voice, but no one needed strain to hear it in the near silence. Each word was clipped and seemed almost clinical in their lack of emotion, "Every year I tell each new class what is expected of them and remind our elder years what standards they are to be held up to- and _every year_, someone lets me down." The silence was stifling and Harry glanced at Draco, who looked uncertainly bored. "Slytherins stick together, fights stay within the common room, all students are expected to try their hardest in class and above all…" Snape eyed each of them as if they were all to blame for anyone ignoring these guidelines, "_Do not get caught breaking one of the rules of Hogwarts._" He put his hands behind his back, "I do not mind a broken rule here and there, but anyone caught will face punishment not only for their crime, but also for their stupidity or lack of foresight that resulted in their discovery." Steel crept into the professor's words, "The common room is warded to alert me whenever a prank-type or battle-type spell is used, _do not even try._" He began to leave the room, but paused at the door labeled, "Head of House." "Any who find themselves being harassed or in a… delicate situation, must first try themselves to solve it." His voice abruptly softened, "And if that is not possible for you, do not hesitate to ask for help."

Harry stared after him, "Is he a bit batty?"

Draco snorted, "In all senses of the word," Sobering a little, he continued, "And also dangerous as heck to be on the wrong side of."

Harry gave up trying to reconcile the many different images of Professor Snape he had just witnessed and decided to just place him in the "Trustworthy when absolutely necessary" category.

Draco tugged his arm, "Come sign up for a room with me."

"What makes you think I want to room with you?" Harry smirked.

Draco returned it, "Because who else would put up with you?"

**Who else _would_ put up with him?**

**Anyway... Why is Snape acting like this without singling out Harry? What's with the cliche rules of Slytherin? Is there a deeper meaning to the pattern of the hallways? And what will McGonagall do to poor Jamie?**

**Tell me what you think!**

**...Please? :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**1454 words without the bold ones. ;)**

**I have to go do my Comparative Religions project now so I'm cutting this short .**

**Thank you to everyone who reads this story and especially to those that review! I honestly am quite fond of you all :D**

**Diss the Claim: If I owned it, there would be _sooo_ many official spinoffs out there in the bookstores...**

Draco was thrilled to have an ally intelligent enough to add to his own theories and actually give new input during a conversation. Harry may actually become his _friend _if he keeps up being so perfec- Draco remembered the drool he'd wiped off of Harry's lip and shuddered. _Almost_ perfect, anyway. He sat back on the bed, kicking his heels against the wooden frame as Harry plopped gracelessly onto his own bed facing Draco and entwining his ankles together.

Harry leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, sighing wistfully, "I hope we have Charms_ first thing _tomorrow."

Draco mirrored him unintentionally as he leaned to meet him halfway and his feet fell silent, "I'm crossing my fingers for DADA or potions since they're more useful."

Harry straightened, "There are so many different uses for charms, though! You can do almost anything with the right charm!"

"You can't transfigure or ward," Draco pointed out, "And potions not only can be used in stealth, offense, or even defense, but can also be used to heal."

"There are _healing charms_, you know," Harry rolled his eyes without relaxing his rigid posture, "And there are probably charms that get the same results as transfiguration or warding."

"Probably?" Draco lay back in his victory, lacing his fingers together behind his head smugly when Harry didn't answer. Harry's jaw tightened and,with a visibly forced release of tension in the muscles, he stood and walked around to the other side of Draco's bed. He flicked Draco nonchalantly in the head and returned to rummage through his own trunk for pajamas, ignoring any and all complaints from the sullen blonde. _Petty, yes, but unsatisfying?_ Harry got under the covers and smirked secretly when Draco finally stopped his whining. _Definitely not._

Unfortunately, to the chagrin of both boys, when schedules were passed out that day they learned they had Herbology, Astronomy, and Transfiguration for their first day. They bemoaned the poor scheduling of the Slytherin classes for a while until Jamie snuck up on and noogied Harry from behind.

"Jam- Professor Potter wants to see you, Harry," Jamie grinned when he finished evading Harry's vengeful and ultimately futile slaps. Harry paled and Jamie hastened to assure him, "He doesn't seem at all angry at you!" Seeing Harry didn't look convinced, he elaborated, "If anything, he just seems shocked now. I'd go with you if I could but-" He trailed off, his eyes lingering on a particularly pretty- blue-haired?- girl at the Hufflepuff table, "-I've got things to do." Forgetting Harry completely other than to pat him "reassuringly" on the head as he gravitated towards the yellow-trimmed table.

Draco noticed Harry began playing with what little was left of his breakfast instead of nearly swallowing it whole like before. "I'll go with you."

Harry looked up, a deer in headlights look on his face, "Why?"

Draco examined his nails, "Well, I _would_ like to see Professor Potter's office at least once before I'm in there to be disciplined..."

Harry repressed the urge to tackle the pale boy and settled for patting him on the shoulder, "Thanks, Draco."

"And of course you'll owe me a favor..."

"Never mind, I'm sure I can get some other non-Slytherin to go with me-"

"Too late."

Harry sighed and pushed his plate away, "Are you ready?"

"Sure," Draco shrugged, pushing his own plate away with more force than necessary, "Let's go."

"We'll probably have to ask a portrait or something for directions," Harry grimaced, immediately disliking asking for more help than he was getting already but seeing no way out of it. An extremely helpful talking monkey guided them the entire way there and Harry made a mental note to remember the utter usefulness of such paintings in the future.

Jamrong's office was comfortably furnished with an overload of a particularly garish shade of red and gilded gold nearly anywhere the red didn't quite stretch. James himself was the only splash of color in an erstwhile red room, disregarding the two new arrivals he was looming over ominously.

Upon seeing Draco the temperature in the room lowered a notch, Jamrongs addressed him dismissively, "You may leave now, Mr. Malfoy."

Harry spoke up, "I invited him, we're- going to go study together after this." He wasn't going to say he was frightened of his own father to his face! Draco, luckily, was well-versed in deception, if not exactly an expert, and his face gave nothing away.

James sighed and all the anger expelled out of him, leaving a weary man almost to his middle ages. Harry was surprised to see slight crow's feet forming by Jamrongs's eyes even without his customary grin. "I just wanted to let you know I know this isn't any of your fault and I'm not mad at you for it."

"It isn't really a matter of fault-" Harry began, bristling.

"Yes, don't try to be noble here. I should have known letting Sirius raise you would've done something like this, after all, his entire family was Slytherin-"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Harry interjected, ignoring James's taken aback expression, "I'm in Slytherin because I _am_ a Slytherin!"

Draco couldn't help letting a smirk pass fleetingly over his face at this, glad his friend seemed to be siding with Slytherin over his father, and James glared briefly at the boy.

He turned a pleading gaze on Harry, "I just know if we'd raised you, you would have been a proper Gryffindor, it's nothing to be ashamed of, since it came about through no fault of your own-"

"Paddy and Remus are as much like you and Milly as it's possible to be! Don't you get it? I would have been a Slytherin anyway! I thought you'd yell at me, or blame me, but not start acting like I'm just some misguided child who doesn't know the meaning of anything I do!" Harry huffed, his face red. Draco attempted to covertly leave the room and Harry grabbed his sleeve, keeping him there at his side.

"No, I'm sure the Hat gave you a choice between Slytherin and Gryffindor, just as it has done for Potter for- for centuries, right?" James mistook the shocked look on Harry's face for assent and continued, "See, you really _have_ just been led astray, and if you'll just fill out these forms, you'll be able to transfer to the other House offered you!"

Harry shook his head, "You don't understand."

"What is there to understand? I'm sure... Malfoy will stay 'friends' with you," James sneered, hoping against hope he didn't. Any Malfoy was a dangerous friend to have and he didn't want Harry to get in too deep over his head.

"I wasn't _offered_ another House," Harry explained frazzledly, altogether ignoring the bias against Draco except to noticeably tighten his group on Draco's sleeve. "All the Hat told me was that he should have expected it beforehand because- yeah, that he should have expected it before."

"Because, _what_ Harry?" James asked with deceiving pleasantness.

"It was just a slip of the tongue, he didn't say anything else," Harry covered quickly, trying to look innocent before he realized it wouldn't exactly fit into the conversation and remained with his original expression.

James shook his head, "Unfortunately, this... Exempts you from transferring. I wish you'd kept it to yourself." His countenance softening, James looked straight into the eyes that reminded him so much of Rem- Lily. "You know I"m just doing all this because I love you and want you to be safe, right? There are lots of bad people in Slytherin-" Both boys bristled, "-Don't look at me like that, it's true! I don't want you to get hurt, and Gryffindor... Nothing bad ever really happened in Gryffindor."

"I think it's just because you can't stand the idea of having a _slimy snake_ for a son," Harry muttered, feeling both guiltier and angrier to have said it aloud.

James flinched back with a pained look on his face. "Leave. Just go, Harry."

Harry slammed the door behind them.

**Poor James, he just wants to protect and love and hug his sonnie-boy! :(**

**Hahaha**

**What will happen when they have Transfiguration with Professor Potter?**

**What will Draco have to say about this?**

**Is it really just James's bias speaking here?**

**Will Draco ever really get over his germaphobia?**

**Tell me what you think ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Everybody hates James... T-T**

**Diss the claim: I do not own Harry Potter, that prestigious right belongs to the loverly J. K. Rowling, sirs and madams.**

**Dedicated to: Galaxy... A galaxy of FUN! :D lol**

Sirius wondered if it would really matter to James if he showed up on time to what would surely just be James cussing him out and blaming him for Harry's scaly little problem.

Something crashed against the wall and Sirius heard it tumble to the floor as the sound of fluttering paper faded away.

_Apparently..._ Sirius knocked hesitantly on the door, only to spring away moments later as it flew open.

"_What_?" James growled, before he registered who exactly was in front of him. His voice lowered an octave, "_You."_

"Hey Prongs!" Sirius waved feebly with a twitching grin stretched morbidly across his face.

"Why- How-" James growled in frustration and pulled on his earlobe roughly.

Sirius made a move to stop him, but James' eyes glanced up at him angrily through a fringe of messy hair and Sirius pulled his hands back. There was a moment of silence before Sirius' arms, previously hanging limply at his sides, made their way across his chest, "_You _shouldn't even be the angry one!"

James' eyebrows shot up and his face contorted irritably, but Sirius cut him off. "Shut up. Do you know how it must make Harry feel to know his _father_ is _pissed_ he got into the bloody House he needs to be in?" James made to speak again, but Sirius continued, "No, don't even _say _it! Harry is Slytherin, if you look it up in the dictionary you'll find a picture of Harry's face- the little bugger- and yes, he did actually paste it there, but the point is that Harry is more important than fighting with the Slytherins in school!"

James didn't seem to be keeping up with what Sirius was saying anymore and leaned against the door of his office with a bemused expression, "Come in?"

Sirius snarled, "Don't try to placate me!" James twitched at the phrasing and Sirius' face grew splotchy with irritated blood vessels even as he followed James into the office, "I know big words, too, Mr. Had-All-O's-Without-Trying!"

"I didn't have an O in History of Magic," His tone was prickly and James sat down at his desk, waiting for his thoughts to settle into a pattern he could comprehend. Sirius stood just behind the chair before James' desk with his hands clutching the back of the somewhat uncomfortable-looking padded chair.

He rolled his eyes, pettily returning, "No one in Gryffindor had an O in History of Magic."

James scoffed and continued in indignation as his mind caught up with Sirius's earlier statements and their implications, "I know Harry's more important than fighting with Slytherins! I even called him in here a while ago, and..." He trailed off. James hadn't actually gotten around to the part he'd envisioned of comforting his son while rainbows sprung around them and unicorns pranced happily in a-

"You blew up at him again," Sirius accused in the silence that followed.

James rose to his feet with his hands planted firmly on his desk, "I don't need _you_ to tell me how to raise _my_ son!" He thundered, already avoiding any deep thought about his previous failure to connect with his newly-Slytherin son.

All movement from Sirius, even the rise and fall of his shoulders in angry breath, stilled. For a long moment James felt as he were on the edge of a deep drop and subconsciously leaned back. No explosion was forthcoming, however, and Sirius tapped his fingers once against the back of the chair, breaking out of his self imposed paralyzation. "No, I guess you wouldn't need my help to raise _your_ son." The moment he said them, he wanted to suck the words back into his lungs before they could reach James' ears, but it was too late. With a bow of his head to avoid meeting James' gaze, Sirius backed out of the room. The door slammed shut with a muffled thud, mimicking Harry's departure earlier that morning.

Meanwhile, Harry was shuffling longingly past the Charms classroom. A whack to the arm snapped him out of his haze of misery before long.

"We are _going_ to be _late_, and _Malfoys are not late!_" Draco slapped his arm again for good measure, "Hurry up!"

"Yes, but I'm not a Malfoy, and judging by that nose, you aren't, either..." Harry commented offhandedly with the sole intention of seeing Draco's face turn that interesting yellowish green...

Draco's shoulders shot up to his ears, "I AM a Malfoy! What would you know!" The "obviously-a-Malfoy" seemed far more upset than Harry had intended. _Wow, Paddy was right. Purebloods really _do_ take their lineage seriously..._

"Sorry, Draco, there's nothing wrong with your nose. It's very... Malfoy-ish and pureblood-y," Harry reassured him, picking up his pace. Regardless of his previous quip, he had no desire to be late to his first class at Hogwarts.

The blonde couldn't help a light snort as his shoulders relaxed and he glanced around almost unnoticeably to check if anyone was close enough to have heard, "Right, Harry. Malfoys are always... 'pureblood-y.'"

"Oi, don't rub it in; I was trying to cheer you a little and this is what I get?" Harry asked in a mockingly wounded tone as they accelerated to a run at the warning chimes.

Draco smirked, easily pulling ahead and Harry lowered his head a bit to attempt a quick catch up. The two of them ran right through a matronly female ghost ("Oh!" She exclaimed, "Young men!") and shot out to the greenhouses. They'd slipped in the door and into an empty spot beside a long line of dirt-filled pots just before the last chimes rang and Professor Sprout bustled into the room. Harry eyed the woman speculatively; she seemed too meek to be in charge of potentially man-eating plants. Draco seemed to catch the look and nudged him painfully in the side.

"Don't underestimate her. The Sprouts had a long history of feeding their plants with the blood of their enemies, and I've heard the Professor has taken up the tradition again," Draco hissed, looking pale.

The cheery eyed, red cheeked lady _Harry_ saw did not appear to be capable of squashing a spider, let alone killing and draining the blood of unsuspecting foes for her garden. Suddenly she fixed Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan, who were about to knock over a pot, with a wide eyed, unblinking glare and they sheepishly removed their hands from the vicinity of the pot. Once the danger to her beloved plants was gone, Professor Sprout's gentle smile reappeared, _as if by magic_, back across her face.

Harry looked down at the ground and whispered in a fervent prayer, "Please let Draco piss her off first."

"What!" Draco shrieked, his bones near visible through his bloodlessly white skin.

Sprout directed her increasingly fixed smile at the boys, "Do you have something you want to share with the class, Mr. Malfoy? Mr. Potter?" The two Slytherins each hastily shook their heads at their names.

"Good," She turned to face the class as a whole and the Slytherins shivered. The Gryffindors and Slytherins had clearly divided themselves by House and were lined up on either side of the long row of pots.

The lesson mostly involved different types of soil, how to identify them, what kinds of charms you could use on the different kinds (Harry perked up), and what plantforms could be supported in each one.

Every pot in the row had a unique potting soil in it... It was expected of the students to study hard for the quiz in Herbology next week.

Draco whinged to Harry, "We have to learn _all_ of them?" Crabbe and Goyle, slightly off to the side, nodded and sighed sympathetically. Draco caught their movement from the corner of his eye and whirled on them, spitting flames, "You have to do it too, you know!" They shrugged in tandem and Draco crossed his arms, fuming silently.

Harry rolled his eyes and walked out of the classroom towards the castle, "I thought Malfoys were never late?" Draco gave a satisfying full body twitch before jogging a bit to catch up.

"So eager for Transfiguration?" Draco had the decency to keep from laughing at the face Harry made.


	17. Chapter 17 EDITED

**Dedicated to Galaxy.**

**Diss the claim: Claim, you so ugly, when you was born, the doctor slapped yo' parents. I am gaining no money from this (as my empty bank accounts will attest) and all rights belong to J. and whoever else she may have sold them to.**

Harry slunk into Transfiguration, hiding in Draco's shadow. At least, until Draco scowled at him to "stand up straight and stop disgracing the house of Potter- and _Black." _Harry had a sneaking suspicion it was more due to Draco's progressively obvious OCD; he straightened his back anyway and tried to force the tension from his face. Draco surreptitiously hit the backs of his knees and he fell into the wooden chair next to the smirking blonde.

"Does you need cousin Dwaco to hewp you?" Draco thoughtlessly imitated his aunt, leaning toward Harry and pouting in mockery. Harry lived up to his age. He quickly licked his finger and wiped the spit on Draco's shoulder. "Ewww!" Draco leaped back, "I'm contaminated!"

Harry snorted, "At least I didn't go for your cheek like I wanted to at first." Quite a few Slytherins and Gryffindors were seated and the last ones filing in were distinguishable only in that the Gryffindors abandoned all pretenses and ran while the Slytherins restricted themselves to a bouncing power walk. Miraculously, everyone was in the wooden seats on time. The desks as well as the chairs were all on wheels, and everything was a uniform chesnut brown, other than the large maroon and yellow flag across the front of Jamrongs'- Professor Potter's- desk. The professor himself was no where to be seen. The bell chimed as Draco was taking off and folding up his robe carefully around the "contamination" so it would be contained. After around thirty seconds passed without hide or hair of James making an appearance the Houses began to speak quietly among themselves, the subject matter mostly pertaining to where Professor Potter could be.

Harry leaned forward on his desk, consciously holding a bored expression, as his stomach sank down to his knees. Was it his fault? Maybe he'd been too rash that morning but he couldn't unsay what had been said. The hurt look on James' face flashed by his eyes again. Harry made up his mind; no, he couldn't undo what he'd already done, but he could at least run damage control and apologize. Just as he stood up to go find Jamrongs, a klaxon went off. Draco immediately stood up, back-to-back with Harry, and Harry felt a brief warmth pass over him before he concentrated at the situation at hand. Most of the students were still seated, and the small amount that were up were milling around the door.

"Is it a fire alarm?" A Gryffindor with dark chocolate skin asked, being one of those few standing near the door and ready to bolt. His strange amber-looking eyes dashed around the room as if looking for the fire he'd just predicted.

"I don't think so," Harry replied stiffly, scanning the room, "Any professor worth his salt could put a fire out alone." Harry had no clue what he would do if he was confronted with some sort of enemy right now, and holding his wand at the ready seemed useless. He slipped his wand back into his inner pocket and gently tugged Draco over towards the door.

"Then what could it be?" The Gryffindor gravitated closer to them subconsciously as the others from either House ignored his question.

"I'm hoping it's not an intruder," _or that anything's happened to Jamrongs,_ he finished silently. Draco had put his wand away and was scowling irritably at the room in general.

The amber-eyed boy held out a hand, "I'm Dean. Dean Thomas."

Harry shook it; what was the use of holding grudges when they may need some Gryffindor courage to get out of here? "I'm Harry Potter. I've never heard your last name before. Are you a half-blood?"

Dean shuffled anxiously and avoided meeting Harry's eyes. His cheeks tinged pink as he muttered, "Muggleborn."

"Well, Thomas, I've never met a muggleborn before now, but you've made a good impression so far," he smiled encouragingly and Dean beamed back.

The klaxon cut off mid-sound and everyone went quiet.

"Great," Draco sneered softly.

"Shut up," Harry hissed, looking around the room as several other students were doing. The doors behind them bucked against their backs and nearly all the Slytherins against it jumped back and out of the line-of-sight of whoever or whatever was coming in. A few joined the majority of the standing Gryffindors in trying to hold it shut. The doors shuddered at the tug-of-war-like battle taking place through them. Quite a few students were openly horrified now and clutched at one another regardless of House or bloodlines so Harry didn't think anything of it when Draco grabbed his hand. He about jumped a mile, though, when he felt Draco's breath against his ear. "What are-"

"Just stop," Draco whispered urgently, keeping Harry in place with an annoyed roll of his eyes, "I've got a portkey that can take two or three people to Malfoy Manor, so just stay in contact with me. If it's something dangerous, we can get out of here."

Harry paused, impressed, "It has the power to punch through Hogwarts' wards?"

Draco nodded, pride and fear flashing through him, "It's ancient, the Scion's Refuge, they call it."

"Good." The doors seemed ready to give and Harry stepped minutely closer to Draco, worries about the possibility of a ward update being too much for the portkey to get through plaguing his mind. Seeing Dean struggling to keep the door shut only added to his inner turmoil. _He did say two or three_, Harry slid his eyes over to the similarly terrified Malfoy heir and discarded the idea. Their friendship was too young to take a blow like that and still survive. Befriending a muggleborn could possibly be a good political move to seem neutral, but saving a muggleborn over some of the purebloods in this room was tantamount to becoming a blood traitor- and Harry wasn't so sure Draco could keep up their friendship through something that contrary to his beliefs. Harry pressed his lips together firmly and said nothing.

Out of the blue, the students holding the door scrambled back as one. A stagnant moment passed before a stag pranced through the open doorway merrily and sat down behind the teacher's desk. Harry wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. The first years around him stood in open mouthed disbelief and more than one Gryffindor fell to their knees in despair at realizing their opponent was a _deer_.

The stag sent a wink at Harry, stifling a cringe as the boy glared back unrelentingly. The deer suddenly twisted and shrank into Professor James Potter. He raised his arms welcomingly, "As some of you with older siblings may know, each year I choose a different mission for my first year classes. This year I am focusing on inter-House unity!" He glanced at Harry, looking for approval, but was met with a blank mask. He let his arms lower to his sides and continued less grandly, "Who of you attempted to hold the door closed? Please stand."

Several Gryffindors and a few Slytherins stood as Harry and Draco hastily took their seats. The light in the professor's eyes dimmed slightly as he caught their action and Harry looked down.

"10 points each to your respective Houses for working together to defend against a common enemy!" He cried in psuedo-delight, a grin stretching morbidly on his face. The painful looking expression relaxed as his tone turned serious, "Now then, what you just saw was an example of what you, too, can achieve if you work hard and practice often..." The rest of the lesson was a lecture on the different rules regarding Transfiguration and the expectation that they would ace the quiz on the rules he'd be setting them next class _before_ they started any actual Transfiguration. The students' fear and dismay from earlier faded and was replaced with an excitement for the next class that rivaled the enthusiasm found in Flying lessons. Harry kept his gaze on his parchment after that, alternating dutifully taking notes with doodling on the edge of Draco's when he wasn't paying attention. He found it ample amusement to watch Draco singlemindedly scribble over them until the drawing was completely covered in a near-perfect black square. Draco did leave the drawing of the coiled serpent, though, and Harry considered that a job well done. The chimes for end of class rang just as Jamrongs finished his lesson and the professor grinned that his practicing the rate of his speech had payed off.

Harry glanced back as he left the room and Jamrongs caught his eye with an entreating smile. Harry locked his eyes on Jamrongs' chin and threw him a bone with a strained expression that was more a showing of teeth than a smile, but Jamrongs brightened considerably, fairly bouncing as he wiped down the chalkboard. Harry turned back, but his attention had been on a mental detour two seconds two long; in the rush to get to lunch, he and Dean were jostled forcefully against one another and unbeknowst to them, the wands sticking out of their pockets brushed.

"Done," that same apathetic voice informed from above. He imagined it to be someone with nothing better to do and no clue what they'd rather be doing, but it sure as hell wasn't _this_. Harry caught Dean, Draco, and Neville looking up at the same time and his nose wrinkled in dismay. Locking gazes with Draco, he could see similar confusion in his expression and the sudden height the blonde's shoulders had achieved. With an unplanned understanding, Harry captured Dean at the same moment Draco grabbed Neville.

"We _need_ to talk to you," Harry stressed. Neville immediately took on an air of concern and followed easily, but Dean shot off one last token protest about missing the best portions at lunch before he surrendered to his underlying curiosity and came quietly. The four loitered in a shadowed alcove with the statue of Nicholas Flamel until the last straggler passed them and moved into the hallway.

"Now what's this all about?" Dean crossed his arms; his stance was confident and stern, a complete shift from his scared, but determined countenance while struggling to block the Transfiguration classroom door.

"You heard the voice," Draco replied, one finger pointed accusingly towards Dean, yet still close enough to the young Slytherin to be cautious.

"Voice?" Now Neville's own voice wavered, "You heard it, too?"

Dean's still authority dissolved and he shifted uneasily, "Come on, you're having one over one me." None of the three spoke. He either believed it or he didn't. "You're just pulling my leg!"

"I thought I'd imagined it until Draco said that," Neville soothed, reaching to lay a hand on Dean's shoulder, "but if this _is_ a prank, please admit it now." He fixed all three of them individually with a look reminiscent of Dumbledore at his finest. Harry shivered imperceptibly, This_ is the boy who walked away with nothing but a scar from the_ Dark Lord's_ defeat._ "Alright, so do either of you know what that voice is?" Somehow Neville had taken the reins in the situation and Harry shook off his awe, resentment building at Neville's natural assumption of leadership.

"No, but every time I've heard it, I was around one of you. When have you three heard the voice?" It was a desperate grab for control and Draco could hear it, eying Harry with faint, disguised amusement. Yet, despite the pathetic internal scrabbling that produced it, the gimmick worked. As they went over each scenario, the only constant seemed to be Harry's presence, and the countdown appeared to be what order they'd met him in.

"It bugs me how little it cares," Draco complained, "If the voice's going to all this trouble to do a countdown, it could at least show some enthusiasm about it." Harry laughed and Neville chimed in with his own chuckles a moment later while Dean glared and passionately defended Draco's point of view. Soon the discussion degenerated into wild imagining about the voice's "job" and how if they were a few of many "clients," perhaps the voice was getting a bit burnt out.

"Like a certain Potions professor we all know and _love,"_ Neville put in, "I swear he hates Gryffindor with a passion to rival that of Professor Potter's for pranks!"

Harry sobered immediately and waited for Neville and Dean to calm down; Draco sent him an unreadable look and patted Harry once on the back. "Come on, Harry, we can still catch the last twenty minutes of lunch." He turned towards the two Gryffindors and winked charmingly, "You may enjoy eating, as well." Draco then engaged Neville in an odd communication in which they threw in the names of many different herbs and fungi, giggling uncontrollably whenever either of the two stopped to catch their breath.

"Purebloods," Dean bemoaned playfully, "Whatcha gonna do?"

Draco and Neville managed to calm themselves as they reached the Great Hall and amiably parted ways to eat at their separate tables. Neville and Dean sat down together, an unsurprising, though significant change, and Ron appeared to welcome the other boy warmly. Harry almost felt glad Neville wouldn't be dealing with what he soon would be.

"Thomas..." Draco mused as he sat down, "I've never heard of it... Is he foreign?" He folded his napkin with precise movements, despite never looking at it, and placed it on his lap as Harry piled his plate with food.

"He's not _foreign,_" Harry hinted, hoping against hope Draco would figure it out on his own. The brunette balanced his mound of chips against the apple on his plate and Draco snorted at Harry's only use for fruits.

"He's halfblood, then?" Draco's own plate was divided into perfectly equal portions with a space of one-half centimeter or more between each different food. He was feeling lazy.

"...Muggleborn."

Draco's fork fell to his plate, "He's _what?_" His voice was deathly quiet, like the calm before a storm.

"Look, when you didn't know, you got along with him. You actually liked him! And- and the voice spoke to him... You could just be polite, it'd be good practice for working at the Ministry or something..." Harry was aware his tone was more pleading than convincing and he groped about for another angle, "It'd... it'd really mean a lot to me." He looked up through his fringe, voice weak and soft, "I could never ask this of anyone else, Draco." When Draco tentatively agreed, Harry felt at the same time a euphoric rush and a weight dropping down into his stomach for exploiting Draco's need to be needed. He aspired to forget it and have fun during their free period and he mostly succeeded. At dinner, they sat with Neville and Dean, much to the chagrin and irritation of most of the table. They made whispered conversation about the voice they'd all heard and what it could mean that only they heard it until Jamie intruded on the mystery and blasted the topic into happier things. By the time 8 o'clock rolled around, the two Slytherins were laughing and teasing each other as they entered the Astronomy tower for their Hufflepuff-Slytherin Astronomy lesson.

"Blaise!" Harry exclaimed and his eyebrows shot up in delight.

"Harry!" Blaise returned with equivalent energy, "You can speak!"

Draco laughed at Harry's scowled, "I'd been slipped a bloody canary cream."

Blaise's face paled, "It was _bloody_?" His hands shook slightly and he shoved them into his pockets.

"'Bloody' is a word that expresses disdain or anger, and adds emphasis on the noun that comes after," Draco explained, ever benevolent, ever sharing of his knowledge, ever a show off.

"Oh, thank you! I come from Italy, so sometimes I don't understand the slang..." He shrugged helplessly. "Anyway, I am Blaise Zabini, and you are?"

"...Draco Malfoy," Draco supplied uncertainly.

"Absolutely _wonderful_ to meet you. You know," here his brow creased in concentration, "I met someone who looks like you on my way to Hogwarts. I can't quite..." He trailed off and a few moments later his expression smoothed.

"He has some memory issues," Harry confided quietly as Blaise wandered off to greet the other Hufflepuffs enthusiastically and overaffectionately for the second time. Draco nodded but did not comment, thinking on his Aunt Bellatrix.

The Astronomy teacher Professor Sinistra was an upright, stern-appearing woman who ruined that image every single time she opened her mouth. Astronomy turned out to be an easy class as, once they learned the different quadrants and constellations, they would mostly be concerned with charting more by eye than astrolabe and showing a representation of the change from the last lesson. Their ongoing homework was only to draw and identify the moon's phase as accurately as possible each night for a month.

The tower itself was beautiful, with engraved and labeled constellations on each stone pillar leading up to a circular roof with a star chart that changed to match the sky over Hogwarts at the closest equinox or solstice to the current date. A cycling banner of moon phases provided a border between the metallic, domed ceiling and the curved wall of the tower. Harry, though, spent most of the lesson staring peaceably at the night sky. There were so many more stars visible out here, even in comparison to his relatively rural hometown. Harry's heart contracted. He thought about writing Caligula and asking Sirius to enchant or charm the owl to look like a homing pigeon or something similar and decided he'd do it the day after, when he'd had time to think up a muggle friendly version of his first day. Draco and Harry made their way from the tower unusually subdued; no conversation stretched between them but the silence was one that flowed. As they climbed into their beds, they each smiled a wordless good night to one another before the darkness claimed them.

**Where's Snape? How's Sirius doing?**

**What in the world is going to happen with Neville, Harry, Draco, and Dean?**

**Well. I'll tell you next week. :P**


	18. Chapter 18

**I don't know what happened here. I really don't understand.**

**Dedicated to GAAAAALAAAAXYYYYYYY (Only with 2 A's and 1 Y)**

**By the by, I have another HP story with poorly disguised self-inserts! :D . It's rather good though. It's called "Until The Day I Die" and is on Lynn Smith's account since we're writing it together! :3**

**Diss the Claim: I'm sorry. I'm leaving you for... Bugs Bunny...**

Something cold and wet was drizzling down his back. Something _cold_ and wet was drizzling down his back. Something _cold_ and _wet_ was _DRIZZLING DOWN HIS BACK._

"Harry James Potter I am going to have your skin for a bloody throw rug!" Draco screeched, sitting up in bed with his eyes scrunched tightly shut.

Harry had taken the foresight to retreat and his voice echoed off the tiles in their shared bathroom. Draco grit his teeth as he heard, "Aw come on, Drakie-poo, it's just a little maple syrup."

A wordless scream of rage awoke the rest of the Slytherin first years.

Draco had some color scrubbed into his skin as he stalked into Potions with Harry wringing his hands behind him. Draco was more than slightly infuriated and Harry wisely sat down next to Pansy that period. Throughout the Gryffindor-Slytherin class, Harry cringed at the virtiol Snape spewed. However, it was mostly directed at the Longbottom heir, who twitched a bit, and trembled occasionally from something other than the chill, stagnant air of the dungeon, but otherwise focused intently on his tiny, neatly written notes. In relation to Harry, on the other hand, Snape seemed beyond pleased. Every time he attempted to quietly catch Draco's attention, or give Neville a surreptitious thumbs up, Snape would extol his "Absolutely _Slytherin_ virtues" with a vindictive curl of the lips resembling a rusty smile. Hell, if Neville lost Gryffindor points for breathing too loudly, Harry earned them for Slytherin by keeping a much less intrusive volume. Harry felt a cold tingle up his spine each time Snape attempted to smile at him, and his last comment as class was out, "James must be _thrilled,_" was just loud enough for Harry to catch. Harry's mood took an unwanted turn into stormy territories and he stalked alongside Draco to History of Magic, ignoring exactly what had put Draco into such a rotten mood in the first place.

History of Magic was a complete bore and the subject as dead as its teacher. Draco struggled valiantly to take notes and stay alert but Harry fell asleep after recognizing three exact sentences quoted from the prologue of their history book.

"It's a good thing for you I'm left handed," Draco growled under his breath half way through the period when Harry's head slumped onto the blonde's right arm. Luckily for the unwitting Harry, though, he was a restless sleeper and moved off not five minutes later.

At lunch, Sirius sat down at the Slytherin table next to Harry, and Snape spewed half his goblet of pumpkin juice back onto the head table.

"Why didn't you come see me last night?" Sirius pouted, "Are you that sick of me already?"

Harry's eyes darted around his table and he hissed, "Do we have to talk about this _here_?" Draco snickered as he raised a small mound of mash to his mouth and Sirius's face fell. Harry resumed hastily, "I mean with the upper years listening in."

Sirius beamed happily and threw an arm around Harry's shoulders, "So how is Hogwarts treating you? Looking forward to the only useful class next period?" When Harry's face was blank, Sirius continued, "Mine?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "You sound like Draco. Defense is not nearly as cool as Charms."

"Yes it is!" Sirius and Draco retorted at the same time before looking at each other in dismay. Harry giggled and engaged the two in a debate on the merits of hexes and curses versus jinxes and other charms.

Harry's head snapped up in the middle of discussing how a permanent sticking charm could be used offensively, "Oh! I just remembered. Paddy..." Harry looked up at the older man with his lower lip trembling, "You know how we're never, ever going back to Portugal?"

Sirius blinked, "Well, sometimes over the summer, the Potter family used to vaca-"

"Never ever?" Draco gasped sadly.

"Never ever," Harry affirmed quietly with his eyes cast downwards.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh how terrible!" Draco grasped Harry's hand and patted it gently.

"Yes. Well, it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I will never see my oldest friend, Caligula ever ever again..." Harry lamented, covering his eyes with the back of his free hand. Draco nudged Harry slightly and Harry hastily added, "Who could never compare with my bestest buddy, Draco, but will still be dreadfully missed."

Draco nodded gravely, sighing and resuming his patting of Harry's hand.

"If only there were some way. Some strong _young_ man out there who could help me contact him!" Harry had risen out of his seat at this point was staring off determinedly into the distance, but suddenly deflated and returned to his seat, "But no... Who could be so kind," Sirius flinched, "knowledgable," Sirius looked away innocently, "and yet, ever so handsome and brave," Sirius grit his teeth and avoided any eye contact, "to be able to do such a thing!" Harry began to sob into Draco's shoulder. Draco, ever the good sport, shook his head defeatedly and gave Harry a monogrammed handkerchief.

"I could... Arrange it..." Sirius ground out, without looking at the "Splendidly Diabolical Depression Scene Part 2."

"You've healed me good sir!" Harry cried in complete and total exultation.

"Wrong scene," Draco drawled.

"You've saved our friendship, Paddy!" Harry cried in complete and total exultation.

Draco extended his arm to examine his nails, "Better."

Sirius dropped his face into his soup and attempted to drown.

"Paddy!" Harry grabbed him by the hair and dragged him out of the bowl.

Sirius barked, "Let me die in peace!"

Harry whacked him upside the head with his own soup spoon, and shouted, "Like I'd do that!"

"He's back in the soup again," Draco drawled, leaning forward with his elbows on the table to watch the last bubbles.

"IDIOT!"


	19. Chapter 19

**Dedicatedly devoted to its long time love: Galaxy**

**Diss the claim: I do not own HP.**

Harry followed Sirius directly to his classroom after lunch to stave off any other suicide attempts, waving Draco off when the boy had claimed to have forgotten his Defense textbook in their dorms. Harry sat on Sirius's desk, legs swinging, as Sirius muttered his way around the classroom, wand in hand.

"Whatcha do~oin?" Harry asked in a sing-song tone, grinning as Sirius twitched. The older man couldn't hold up under the complete annoyance that is Harry at his best for long.

Sirius glared, eyeing Harry like a particularly poisonous type of snake that had found its way into his dresser drawers, "You're not even supposed to know I did anything."

"Well," Harry drew out the 'l' to a pointless length and fixed Sirius with a grave, condescending stare, "If _someone_ would stop trying to _kill themself-"_

"I'm_ not _going to kill myself!" Sirius interjected, but was ignored with ease of practice.

"-Then _maybe _I could leave you alone." The Black Head of House muttered obscenities under his breath that, surprisingly, he had learned from Remus. The werewolf didn't seem it, but with the vocabulary and imagination that man had... Sirius sat down next to Harry with a sudden mischievous grin and gripped the boy to his chest in a tight hug.

Harry stiffened and struggled futilely before sending Sirius the Evil Eye- or rather sending Sirius's chin the Evil Eye, from his position. "What are you up to?" The younger boy demanded, slowly easing his way downward and out of the embrace by relaxing his tense muscles enough to have some extra space.

"What makes you think I'm- hey!" Sirius exclaimed as Harry slipped out of his hold, letting loose a raspberry at his father figure.

"I'm going to go try and catch Draco on the way back so I can warn him about your traps!" Harry called over his shoulder as he ran from the room.

Wand twirling in his fingertips, Sirius shook his head with a grin. That did it- Sirius was _definitely_ going to double-layer the... Education on the desks.

Glasses, a textbook, and some paper went flying as Harry found Draco directly after dashing around a blind corner. The cold stone jarred him unpleasantly as they slammed one another into it through force of momentum.

"Watch where you're going!" Draco bit out, rubbing his forehead and pushing himself up to his feet with the support of the wall.

"I was looking for you," Harry replied mordantly, focused on the slight stinging in his hands from their scrape across the floor. He held up Draco's textbook without bothering to move, "Here. Have you seen my glasses?"

Draco snatched the textbook, peering at him balefully, "I should've known it was you. Your glasses are behind you and a bit to the left." Harry moved his hand blindly over the floor behind him for a moment before Draco gave in with huff. He plucked the spectacles gingerly off the floor to be jammed gracelessly back onto Harry's head. Harry blinked owlishly at his sudden vision as Draco hastily gathered his papers into a semi-ordered pile. There was an irritatingly echoing sound of shifting stone along with that of rustling papers. "Now I have to rearrange them all," Draco griped petulantly. Harry was too busy staring at whatever was making such a ruckus to mock him for his OCD and Draco huffed at what he thought was silence from lack of sympathy. When it drew on, Draco's annoyance simmered down, "Is something wrong with you?" _Draco-speak for "all you all right?" I'm sure,_ Harry's mind bubbled randomly.

"The corridors move," Harry stated, calmly enough for someone who had just made such a discovery.

"What? Did our heads hit too hard?" To be fair, Draco really did look concerned, kneeling and probing Harry's forehead tentatively, "I hope it was just you who got a concussion." Maybe not so concerned.

Harry swatted Draco's hand away and turned the blonde's head around forcibly, "This corridor has _moved_ with us _in it._"

At the other end of the passage -where Draco had just come from- the light had suddenly picked up with the addition of two torches and there was a solid oak entryway with a long snake carved down the front of it.

"This is Uncl- Professor Snape's office," Draco gaped, finally picking up on the peculiarity of their situation. "I just came from the Slytherin Common Room," He elaborated unnecessarily with widening eyes and a bizaare spasm of the hands away from where he kept his wand.

"The dungeons must move around," Harry deduced, getting to his feet just as the warning bells chimed. The two Slytherins' gazes connected and they sprinted in pure panic to the Defense classroom. Losing points on the second full day was _not_ on the agenda.

Chests heaving, they barely managed to step into the sloping, well lit room before the final bell chimed and the doors crashed shut behind them, catching Draco's robe and forcing him to dress down to a collared shirt and slacks for the second time in two days.

"Punctuality," Sirius told the classroom with his wand out and a smirk on his lips, "Is important."

"Not as important as my robes being ruined twice in a row," Draco moaned quietly, fixing the offending garments with a mournful stare. Neville, seated in the back row, reached over the back of his chair and patted Draco's shoulder gravely even as Ron snickered beside him.

"Take a seat," Sirius ordered the two first years, turning towards the board and scribbling something in the upper right hand corner.

Harry trotted over to the Gryffindor side of the room and sat on the floor next to Dean. The puzzled boy leaned on the desk and furrowed his brow at Harry bewilderedly. Harry waved at him, "Hi." Draco hesitated, torn, before rolling his eyes and pulling out a chair on the close end of the Slytherin side. As he made to sit, though, Harry threw out a hand, "Wait! Don't sit in the chairs!"

The entire class looked at Draco expectantly, and Draco scowled, sinking to the floor with his arms crossed over his chest. The scowl deepened when Pansy patted him on the head with no little amusement.

Sirius waited for the class to calm down before flicking his wand obviously and dramatically with an intentionally mumbled incantation. Every desk in the room grew four arms each and wrapped, serpentine, around every student in the room before they even knew what was going on. Draco and Harry were not exempt from this, as the arms could, apparently, move their point of contact to the table along the surface and legs of the wooden creation. Despite being made of dead tree flesh, known for its slow growth and immobility, the arms were quicker than the eye could follow and it only took a moment for the class to be incapacitated.

Harry shot off a silencio towards the professor at the same time a bushy haired girl managed to get out of her bounds with a spell that sounded like "Finny-tay-in-can-taught-um." She immediately began to release other Gryffindors even as Sirius worked his jaw soundlessly in amusement.

Harry copied her wand movements and pronunciation and, after three or four- or five or six- tries, the wood retreated back into the table. Harry promptly went over to the Slytherin side and released Draco before the two of them came back together to free Dean and Neville- ignoring the others' cries for help and sitting back on an unenchanted desk to watch Dean, Neville, and the Gryffindor girl work at the rest of the class.

Sirius broke through the weak silencio and beamed, "Twenty points to Gryffindor, Ms. Granger, for the knowledge of a proper counter spell, ability in using it, and assistance to your classmates." He turned and fired two brightly colored spells at Draco and Harry, smiling after and saying, "Five points each to Mr. Malfoy and Harry for a valiant effort at avoiding the traps."

Harry took no notice of whatever the effect of the spell was meant to be even as the class began to laugh and murmur amongst themselves and asked mischievously, "And that's to which House now?"

Sirius twitched, "Two points from Slytherin for cheek."

"Harry! We've got manes!" Draco whined, trying to get his mate- ally to pay attention to what was going on in the present instead of his twisted displays of affection towards Paddy.

"I'd thought something tickled," Harry replied, pulling forward his elongated and augmented pitch black hair to examine it. There were streaks of red running through the "lion's mane" Sirius had spelled onto him and he looked over to see Draco's miserable visage surrounded by a near-halo of silvery-white and gold. "You look like an angel!" Harry sniggered, "A furry angel!"

Draco seemed vaguely confused, "Thank you?"

Later, after a somewhat boring lecture from a similarly-bored-looking Sirius on being prepared and the syllabus of what they'd be learning that year, Draco and Harry left with Neville, Dean, and, unfortunately, Ron.

"Do you want me to cut them for you?" Neville offered, referring to the manes.

"There's only one of him," Draco corrected, referring to the professor.

"We'll do it ourselves," Harry assured Neville with an evil- or as evil as an eleven year old can get anyway- grin. Ron and Dean seemed lost but Harry wasn't going to break out of his scheming to inform them. Especially not for Ron. After all, _Harry_ was referring to both.


End file.
